The Tortoise and the Hare

sliek

the tortoise

had a boat

and the hare

had a jetplane

and the hare was like

"Ha! Ha! Ha!"

"My jetplane can access any place instead of just waterplaces!"

"Additionally, it can move faster than a boat!"

"We should race."

"To a place."

"Of your choosing!"

and the tortoise was like

"into that extinguished volcano"

and the hare was like

"But your boat cannot move across the terrain that leads up to the volcano."

"I accept your challenge!"

"I mean your conditions"

"The race is on!"

And the tortoise went up to his boat

and he popped the pop

and the boat began to deflate

pretty slowly

and the hare went up to his jetplane

and he radioed some air traffic dudes

and was like

"Hey, can I get a permitthing?"

and the air traffic dudes were like

"k, hold on a sec"

and he was like

"I don't have a sec!"

"I have a race to win!"

and he hopped into his plane

wait he was already in his plane

ok he buckled his seatbelt

meanwhile, the tortoise was waiting for the boat to deflate

and it pretty much finished

and he squeezed out the remaining air bubbles

and he unpopped the pop

and he smoothed out the wrinkles

and began to fold the boat

into its storage format

being very careful to fold along the lines

which were reinforced

so that his boat would have a longer lifetime

and he would save money by not having to repair it or buy a new one

and he would be able to give it to his son when his son grew up

so that his son could have the boat that he enjoyed so much in his childhood

while the tortoise was folding, the hare was flipping all those switches that jetplanes have

and making sure that he would have a safe flight

and a clear takeoff path

because he didn't want to take risks for a simple race

and he could afford the time, because boats cannot travel over land

and the tortoise

finished folding the boat, and slowly put it in his backpack

making sure that no sharp objects were near it

to puncture it or something

and he put his backpack on his back

and began to walk toward the extinguished volcano

meanwhile, the hare got a message from the air traffic control guys

they were like

"ok, you can go now"

and the hare was like

"All riiiiiiight!"

and he was happy because he wasn't initially planning on waiting for the directions

but it was good that he got them because that meant that his flight would be that much safer

so he started the jetplane

and the jetplane drove down the runway

and took off

and half a moment later, he realized

"Oh dang, the volcano has a relatively small diameter and a relatively large depth!"

"There's no way to land the jetplane inside from this trajectory."

so he landed his plane next to the volcano

and attached some towropes to the plane

and looked into the volcano

and it had a footpath

wide enough for a tortoise

but not for a boat

nor a jetplane

he contemplated this mutual challenge

and telephoned the tortoise

and shared the mutual challenge

and the tortoise was like

"k"

and the hare was astounded

and appalled

and ambidextrous

but not especially so at that particular moment

and he waited for a while

and the tortoise arrived

with his back-pack

but with no boat

and the hare was especially ambidextrous at that particular moment

but that was not particularly useful

and he watched as the tortoise walked down the volcanosteps

and opened his backpack

and pulled out the boat

and unfolded it

and pulled out an air-pump

because he did not have the lung capacity to inflate it by himself

in any reasonable amount of time

and he inflated the boat

and put the pump back in his backpack

and closed his backpack

and put on his backpack

and climbed into the boat

and looked up at the hare

and smiled like

˘-˘

and the moral of this story

is that inflateable boats are cool

and that helicopters are cool

and that plane travel has been statistically shown to be safer than car travel, in large part because all those with any control over the situation--pilots, air traffic control people, etc.--are highly trained professional

and in part because airline companies have a financial incentive to not be less safe than car travel

~THE END~