Spelunky: Travails

(A platforming, exploration-game with randomly-generated levels, each filled with monsters, traps, and treasure. Located here, at the time of writing. Free!)

Spelunker's Log, 20th of January, 1932.
1. Started decently. Stole a golden idol, fled to the next level to escape the giant boulder that fell when I took it. Bought climbing gloves - $15000, but now I can cling to walls! Spiders clang to the ceiling near the exit - was forced to flee without my dignity. Another golden idol on the third level - my climbing gloves let me simply hold tight to the nearest wall, watching from above as the boulder crashed through the nearby walls many feet below. In the secret cavern the boulder opened, I found a crate holding a bow - rare treasure, worth more than the idol! I tested it out on a nearby bat, then continued onwards. My intent was to use it to kill an enormous spider blocking the way, but at the moment I began to aim, a chill ran down my spine - I knew I couldn't remain on the level for much longer! I fled again, rushing through the level - but a bat and snake (puny foes!) blocked the level exit. I took aim with the bow at the bat - fired twice - was completely ineffective, twice. The bow-shots arced downwards, and the bat was above me! Ignominious death. $12500.

2. Saw an idol first thing - looked promising. Went to grab it. Was slow getting on the nearby ladder to escape from it, but got there in the nick of time. Dropped off the ladder immediately afterward, went to grab the loot in the next room (that the boulder had opened in its crashing wake)... and died when the boulder rolled back and squashed me. $6100.

3. Started very poorly. A hidden dart-trap next to the entrance shot me when I proceeded carelessly forward - left me half-way dead. Then a spider blocked my way in a narrow passage - poised to drop down on me when I passed. Jumped up to try to hit it, but failed and lost half my remaining life. Tried to make a run for it, and died. The spider danced on my corpse. $2000. (Should've used a flare - could've thrown it at the spider, killed it from range. Stupid.)

4. Started by smashing open a pot - a $1600 red gem was inside - a ruby, perhaps! Never saw one of those before. Immediately afterward, was hurt by a bat... so mixed bad and good. Wasted a flare trying to kill two bats on my way out of the first level - remembered too well my last life. (Killed them with the whip in close range instead, with much better results than I usually have.) Ran into a craps-house, and bet $2000 on a whim - lost it. Goes to show. One of the pots - usually holding money - held a spider, as I learned when I hurled it across the screen and shattered it. (Good move - would've been worse if I'd thrown it near me, as usual.) Dropped on the vile thing from above and killed it - quite pleased with myself! Stole a golden idol, fled downwards to avoid the boulder, found what looked like the remains of a sun-thingey (some kind of secret) in a hole within sight of the exit. Dropped down to investigate... and died instantly. (????) $8200.


5. Nothing too exciting on the first level - got some small change, had a close call with a dart trap above a ladder. On level two, stole an idol and then got a bow immediately thereafter - same dilemma, but perhaps I'll choose differently this time. Snakes seem to be immune to arrows - odd, one passed through my shots and hurt me. Then - argh! Accidentally moved beneath one of the two nearby spiders, both woke up and attacked, my arrows did nothing, I died... !(*#@& the bow, man. $15200.

6. Messed up a jump and was hit by a poison dart. Ow. Ran into a snake at high speed.. nearly dead. Hm. Got some gold next to a set of spikes, jumped for the gold on the other side of the spikes... sigh. $4200.

7. Walked out of the entrance, hit a pot with my whip, was injured and saw something die. ??? Probably a spider. Smashed the remaining pots from a distance... got a $3k+ gem from one of the others, so I'm not complaining. Hit by a poison dart while trying to make a tricky throw, almost dead... $14400 by the end of the first level, quite unusual. (And still nearly dead.) Very long load time for the next level.. has it locked up? No, odd. Killed a bat, made a jump onto a pile of bones between some spikes... and the pile of bones stood up and instantly killed me. Hello, Mr. Skeleton! (Afterward, it walked onto the spikes and died. Heh.) $14400.

The expedition continues - continues now, and forever. It can never be halted.