Chronicles 2: Return of the Pink Slime

SCENE ONE:

SLIME enters.

Slime: Gurgle, hiss, etc.

COMMON CITIZEN enters.

C.C.: Aaa! A slime!

Slime: [Devours C.C.]

SCENE TWO:

Two TOWNSFOLK approach a door.

Townsman One: We must seek the hero Desmond's aid in stopping this slime!

Townsman Two: It's killing us all!

They knock.

KING KESSLER opens the door.

Kessler: Lo, the hero Desmond is on a far journey, to the land of Bretonia! Hath thou ought that may be accomplished without his presence?

Townsfolk: No! We need a hero to save us!

Kessler: Whatever shall we do?

MYSTERIOUS FIGURE enters, caped in SHADOW.

M.F.: Lo, it is I, the mysterious GARGAMEL! I will aid you!

Townfolk: Hooray!

SCENE THREE:

Slime: hiss, gurgle, etc.

GARGAMEL enters.

Gargamel: I will slay you, death-creature!

Gargamel draws a sword and attacks.

Pink Slime pulls the sword from Gargamel's hands.

Gargamel: You have underestimated me, vile beast!

Gargamel draws another sword and swings it at the slime.

Pink Slime pulls the sword from Gargamel's hands.

Gargamel: Well, I guess you estimated me about right after all. LEEEEEEEEROY JEEEEEENKINS!

Gargamel charges the slime and is swallowed.

Slime: Gurgle, hiss, gurgle.

Gargamel punches his way out of the slime, retrieving his sword and slaying it.

Gargamel: Victory!

SCENE FOUR:

King Kessler: Lo, Gargamel, you are a servant of the people. Accept this great treasure as a reward.

Gargamel: Thank you! I will use it... wisely.

Gargamel departs, accidentally stepping out of shadow as he does so.

King Kessler: That was... NIKOLAUSSE! How can he be still alive? And what will he do with the treasure I just unknowingly gave him? Lo, much evil is afoot!

Find out the truth, next time on... THE CHRONICLES OF DESMOND!

The Rise of King Kessler Act III: Draft Submission

The Rise of King Kessler: A Short Play by Nicholas Feinberg

ACT III

SCENE I

Setting: In the deep woods, midday.

Cast: TOWNSMAN 1, TOWNSMAN 2, PINK SLIME, TOWNSFOLK EXTRAS

(TOWNSMAN 1 and TOWNSMAN 2 lead TOWNSFOLK EXTRAS into the forest. They hold all manner of weapons, potions, and enchanted nets. PINK SLIME opposite.)

TOWNSMAN 1: Ready the nets, men! It approaches!

TOWNSMAN 2: Yea, in all the tales told, none could say of a thing so hideous!

(TOWNSFOLK EXTRAS charge with the nets, while TOWNSMAN 1 and TOWNSMAN 2 attack and throw potions at PINK SLIME.)

(The battle rages.)


SCENE II

Setting: In the deep woods, at nighttime.

Cast: TOWNSMAN 1, TOWNSMAN 2, PINK SLIME, BEAR-WEASEL, PINK-SLIME-BEAR-WEASEL, TOWNSFOLK EXTRAS

(TOWNSFOLK EXTRAS hold the pink slime in enchanted nets. TOWNSMAN 1 and TOWNSMAN 2 lead the party. BEAR-WEASEL on the opposite side, vicious.)

TOWNSMAN 2: We got it, Captain! We got the Pink Slime! Ready for launch!

TOWNSMAN 1: Launch it! Do it quick now and launch the bloody thing!

(PINK SLIME hurls at incredible speed towards BEAR-WEASEL. They combine into one entity.)

(PINK-SLIME-BEAR-WEASEL is formed. Resembles BEAR-WEASEL, but pink, and much more ferocious. Drips slime from tendrils occasionally.)

PINK-SLIME-BEAR-WEASEL: Groooooah! Yea, the powers that hath now infuseth throughout my body granteth to me unimaginable powers! For this I shall grant upon thee a request of your choice.

TOWNSMAN 1: We have only one possible want: for you to attack the Ratte-Kingdom at its heart!

PINK-SLIME-BEAR-WEASEL: Very well. It shall be done! Groooooah!

(Runs off. Loud attacking noised can be heard. Clamour throughout.)

TOWNSMAN 1: Yes! Haha! It worked perfectly! Even now the Ratte-Armie is retreating over to assist their capital! With them gone it shall be simple for Kessler’s troops to take Isse-Lande!

(All rejoice. Then run off and take Isse-Lande.)


SCENE III

Setting: In Isse-Lande. The new rebel-held capital at League of Desmond City. The City is scarred with battle, but fighting has subsided.

Cast: KESSLER, WOOD-ELF, TOWNSMAN 1, TOWNSFOLK EXTRAS

(Crowd cheers. Isse-Landic Flags are waved about. Kessler speaks from platform.)

KESSLER: Yea, the Ratte-Kinge and his evil forces have now totally withdrawn from Isse-Lande. We are now free!

(Crowd cheers.)

TOWNSMAN 1: You have led us through out toughest battles, and rallied our troops on to victory. The General Assembly cannot find a more capable king for our new nation. Will you accept this position we bestow upon you?

KESSLER: Yea. I humbly accept the Kingdom of Isse-Lande, and pledge to be ever just, and fair, and benevolent to our peaceful citizenry.

(Crowd cheers.)

KESSLER: (Nervously.) And yea, there is one last point to address...in the time of being King, there is yet a great position left unfulfilled. Indeed, you have comforted me in times of great distress, brought me guidance, and great compassion, yea, in all veracity, I do pledge my love to you...will you honour me by becoming my Queen?

WOOD-ELF: (Surprised.) Why...Yes! Of course! Ha!

(They continue talking, inaudible to camera.)

(Crowd Cheers.)


SCENE IV

Setting: In the background of Kessler’s speech.

Cast: CHILD DESMOND, CHILD MATTHIAS

(CHILD DESMOND and CHILD MATTHIAS are seen talking in the background.)

CHILD DESMOND: Hey! Matthias! The Ratte-Kingdom is evil in its ways. I’m so afraid they might try to retake Isse-Lande eventually...

CHILD MATTHIAS: Oh, do not be absurd! We are free!

CHILD DESMOND: (Playfully.) Hmm...I’m gonna train extra hard to defend Isse-Lande!

CHILD MATTHIAS: (Skeptically.) Yea, who knows, you might be a great hero someday...

(Freeze frame.)

(Text appears on screen, “AND IT WAUSSE GOODE.”)

(Fade out.)

(Credits.)

TO BE CONTINUED...BACKWARDS...

The Rise of King Kessler Act I: Draft Submission

The Rise of King Kessler: A Short Play by Nicholas Feinberg

ACT I

SCENE I

Setting: In a small garden.

Cast: KESSLER

(KESSLER is sitting down, reading. Suddenly, he lifts his head and talks to camera.)

KESSLER: (Exasperated.) The Ratte-Kinge oppresses the good citizens of the Isse-Lande region at every opportunity. We cannot simply sit idly by and allow his tyranny to persevere. We must rise up and declare independence. Isse-Lande shall become its own country, and it must be now!

(Stands up.)

KESSLER: What am I to do? We are small, weak, helpless. There must be some way to fortify our defenses...


SCENE II

Setting: In a tavern. Crowd mumblings can be heard in the background.

Cast: KESSLER, WOOD-ELF

(KESSLER and WOOD-ELF sit at a table, with mugs, they face each other and converse while drinking.)

WOOD-ELF: (Slyly.) We are here to discuss a "business proposition", are we not?

(KESSLER looks around cautiously.)

KESSLER: (Nervously.) Yea, I do consult you for I have heard you are well-versed in the ways of love. Come show me why you do deserve your good name!

WOOD-ELF: Very well then, come with me, and I shall show you a world of delight.

(They go up the the bedchambre.)


SCENE III

Setting: In the bedchambre. Clothing strewn about.

Cast: KESSLER, WOOD-ELF

(KESSLER and WOOD-ELF lie in bed together, unclothed, but covered by bed-sheets.)

KESSLER: (Satisfied.) Yea, verily, I can see now why you are renowned throughout these parts as the greatest of your ilk. You have performed well, and now I offer you this sixpence in gratitude.

(Throws a coin to WOOD-ELF.)

WOOD-ELF: Why that is quite generous!

KESSLER: I assure you, you deserve it richly.

WOOD-ELF: Well, especially in these troubled times, as you know how the Ratte-Kinge keeps our economy in such a poor state.

KESSLER: (Excited.) Indeed. That is quite the subject which I had hoped to discuss. The Ratte-Kinge is indeed evil in his tyrannies over the region of Isse-Lande. But perhaps I have a plan to finally end all of this injustice. You of course, being a creature of the wood, have surely heard of the "bear-weasel" and its exploits?

WOOD-ELF: Of course, the bear-weasel is well knows to us, but what could you possibly want to know of its habits and exploits?

KESSLER: The bear weasel is indeed the most powerful of beasts. It is instrumental in my grand endeavours to liberate Isse-Lande. The bear-weasel, in the right hands, could indeed wreak great havoc on the Ratte-Kingdom, and in the fury and panic, our small rebel armies could easily take Isse-Lande, and we shall be free!

WOOD-ELF: (Skeptically.) If you truly desire to know about the bear-weasel, then I can point you in the direction of an expert in the field. I myself do not posses significant knowledge of its ways.

(Writes some information down on a piece of parchment, and gives it to KESSLER.)

KESSLER: That is sufficiently marvelous. I shall contact him at once! You...you're not like other wood-elves I have consorted with in the past...no, you have an air of distinction, of nobility that I cannot place...

WOOD-ELF: (Nervously.) Oh! It is nothing. A trick of the mind, most certainly. I am but a humble wood-elf worker. And you as well, you are, well different from all my other clients...you seem to respect me so...and you are especially intelligent, well, for a human at least...

(Flips the coin back to KESSLER.)

WOOD-ELF: Here, this one is complementary! Until the next time!

(Darts off too quick to follow.)

KESSLER: How interesting...


TO BE CONTINUED...

Another Proposed Script

I should note here that my notion is for a shorter, more compact project than the Chronicles movie was - I don't think I need another ordeal of that sort just now. I can write different scripts and/or modify this one on request.

The Youth of Kessler, Once and Future King

Scene One. Setting: A Grassy Field. (Wilson Park.) Characters: Baby Kessler. (A stuffed animal.)

Baby Kessler falls to earth atop a pile of (stuffed) animals.

NARRATOR: Yea, did KESSLER fall from the Heavens, born of the very Gods. And yea, was he cushioned by all the beasts and birds of the Earth; and thus was he wise, verily.

Scene Two. Setting: A Quiet Street. (?) Characters: Young Kessler. Extras: Three Townsfolk.

TOWNDENIZEN ONE: Why, we are doomed! We must flee!
TOWNDENIZEN TWO: No! You're an idiot! We have to fight it!
TOWNDENIZEN THREE: Bah! I'm hiding in my house and hoping it goes away!
YOUNG KESSLER enters, stage left.
YOUNG KESSLER: Yea, what threatens you, o fellow Isselundians?
TOWNDENIZEN THREE: Why, haven't you heard? We've been attacked by that worst of foes: the Bear-Weasel! And more, it's allied with a horrific Slime!
TOWNDENIZEN ONE: They've already killed two - no, ten - no, dozens of townspeople! All is lost!
YOUNG KESSLER: Why, such noble and brave townsfolk as you should surely be able to defeat any foe! Come, follow me! I will lead you to victory!
TOWNDENIZEN TWO: Yaaaaaaaa!
The townsfolk follow Kessler offstage, stage right.

Scene Three. Setting: A Darkened Wilderness. (Wilson Park: at night!) Characters: Young Kessler. Extras: Three townsfolk, a wood elf, and a dead bear-weasel and slime.

YOUNG KESSLER and three townsfolk enter, stage left. A roar is heard from the right. (Probably in editing.)

TOWNDENIZEN ONE: (trembling) Here is the dreaded beast: the terrible Bear-Weasel!
YOUNG KESSLER: Have no fear! We are Isselundians of stout hearts - yea, the very stoutest! Even a Magic Dragon King, were it to appear before us, would not daunt our steps! Timmaraque protects the righteous!
TOWNSFOLK (rallied): Yaa!
They charge off-screen, stage right. Whacking noises are heard, along with Kelsey's slime noises and more roaring.
TOWNDENIZEN THREE: (falling backwards, stage right) Aaargh! He lies still.
More whacking. A dead Bear-Weasel is tossed back into the scene.
TOWNDENIZEN ONE: (falling backwards, stage right, with a wet shirt) Eeurgh! He lies still.
More whacking and slime noises. A dead slime is tossed back into the scene.
YOUNG KESSLER and TOWNDENIZEN TWO re-enter the scene.
TOWNDENIZEN THREE: (rising) It bit me! Ow!
TOWNDENIZEN ONE: (rising) It... slimed me! Uck!
YOUNG KESSLER: Yea, surely that was a most glorious victory! All credit to you! Surely, were any wood-elves about, they should bestow their gifts upon you for your valour!
WOOD ELF: (entering stage left) Yea, verily, I would for I am so über smexy and hot right now! (frolicks stage right)
TOWNSFOLK: Yaaaay!
They exit, stage left.

Scene Four. Setting: The Throne Room. (same as before.) Characters: Young Kessler. Extras: Towndenizen Two.
TOWNDENIZEN TWO: By your actions this last day, you have proven yourself not just brave, but a leader among men. (Kneeling) Yea, for your virtuous qualities - surely a sign from Timmaraque himself - we have elected you our King!
KING KESSLER: (taking crown from towndenizen) Hooray!

NARRATOR: And thus did a long and glorious reign begin, interrupted only by occasional rat-kings and grendels, guaranteeing peace and prosperity for many generations.

Fin.

...for the life of me, I cannot write humor.

Full Chronicles of Desmond movie - OFFICIAL EDITION

The full script follows. After repeated editing, this is now OFFICIAL hooray!

1a. Setting: a darkened room. Characters: Person in bed (covered up, seen briefly), standing man.

MAN: [taking bundle from person in bed] I will name him: Desmond!
NARRATOR: And he wasse deade.
(Credits, if absolutely necessary, go here.)

b. Animated sequence. Slides: A drawing of child Desmond (~6), looking youthful, in Isselunde. A drawing of child Desmond (~12), brandishing a stick, in Isselunde; child Matthew (~13) can be seen in the background, holding "elf dung".
NARRATOR: Desmond grew swiftly, full of strength and vitality from a young age.
NARRATOR: He dreamed of martial pursuits, slaying imaginary dragons and occasionally riding the "Magic Dragon King" with his childhood friend, Matthias. Desmond longed for adventure...

c. Setting: A church. (?) Characters; Desmond, Matthias.
DESMOND: (mumbling something prayer-related, kneeling before an altar)
MATTHIAS: (approaching DESMOND, whispering) Desmond! Friend! I have a secret to share!
DESMOND: (lifting his head) Yes...
MATTHIAS: (whispering, excited) Have you heard of the sword Durendal?
DESMOND: The blade wielded by Charlemagne's knights?
MATTHIAS: Yea, I didde hear that the Archbishop Turpin, who did grant it to Charlemagne's knights, is here in Isselunde; with Durendal!
DESMOND: Come, friend, let's seek it! I am a noble enough lad, yes?
MATTHIAS: (looks doubtingly)
DESMOND: Come now! Yea, at the least we shall have seen the legend, and at best: glory!
DESMOND and MATTHIAS leave together.

d. Setting: A sunlit glade. (Wilson Park?) Characters: Desmond (holding large stick), Matthias (holding something holy), the Archbishop Turpin. Extras: Vile Pink Ooze (two people under a large pink blanket)
DESMOND: [Walking into glade] Yea, O noble archbishop Turpin, holder of the sacred blade Durendal, will you grant it unto me, that I may act as a hero ought?
TURPIN: Of course, my child.
OOZE: [eats Turpin]
DESMOND: [picking a stick from the ground] Monstrosity! You will pay for this atrocity!
MATTHIAS: [in background] God is with you in this!

OOZE: [Oozes towards Desmond]
DESMOND: [Dances around ooze, fake-whacking it with stick] Fall, beast! Die! Die! Die! I will be your end! Aah! Die!
OOZE: [Collapses]
DESMOND: [Draws DURENDAL from under ooze, holding it up in the air (as Link)] Victory!
[Optional sound effect here]

e. Setting: Outside of house. (Mine?) Characters: King Kessler (deposed), Desmond (with Durendal).
DESMOND: [Walking up] Who are you, fine and noble-looking sir, and what do you here, before my own father's house?
KESSLER: I have heard of your noble deeds - [looking at Durendal] even now, that sword at your hip gives testimony to your bravery. I have come to deliver you a quest.
DESMOND: A quest?
KESSLER: Yes. You must defeat... the RATTE-KINGE GALGAMOTH!

END OF ACT 1

2a. Setting: A darkened room. Characters: The Ratte-Kinge (a doll/infant)

NARRATOR: The Ratte-Kinge GALGAMOTH was borne, and he didde eat his own dung.

b. Animated sequence. Slides: A child Ratte-Kinge (~6), studying at a desk in a classroom; mollusks may be seen in the background. A child ratte-kinge (~12), kneeling before the Timmaraque-Angel; mathematical equations hover about his head in a halo. The Ratte-Kinge as a merchant (~20?), standing in brightly-coloured garb.
NARRATOR: Galgamoth was ever interested in learning, despite the poverty into which he was born.
NARRATOR: For his dedication to learning and the Church, an Angel of the Timmaraque appeared to Galgamoth, blessing him with knowledge of the vectors.Thus, Galgamoth renamed himself Nikolauss.
NARRATOR: Despite the complexity of the mathematics, Nikolaus applied himself and became a successful merchant; gaining wealth... power... and the lust for more.

d. Setting: A throne room. Characters: King Kessler, the Ratte-Kinge (as merchant?). Extras: Two Ratte-Soldiers.
RATTE-KINGE: [striding in, with ratte-soldiers at his side] My mercenary army, which I hired with my money, has conquered peaceful ISSELUNDE. Kneel to me, "King" Kessler!
KING KESSLER: [beaten, weary, standing up (from throne)] You may have won the battle... but I will never kneel to you. I am the rightful king. I will regain my throne!
RATTE-KINGE: [triumphant] Hah! You are pitiful. My power and money will give me control over ISSELUNDE for all of time. I declare you exiled; nevermore shall you set foot in your beloved REYKJAKVIK. And [sitting in throne] I declare myself king!
KING KESSLER: [being dragged away by guards] I will return and overthrow you, you Timmaraque-damned Rat-King!

e. Setting: The throne room, later. Characters: the Ratte-Kinge. Extras: A ratte-soldier, two common citizens.
CITIZEN 1: [pleading before throne] Please! I swear I meant no harm to the royal chariot!
RATTE-KINGE: [imperious] Take him away! [in stage whisper] Ruling ISSELUNDE seemed sweet before, but now... I worry that the least of things now weary and anger me. [shouting] Next!
CITIZEN 2: I bring you a gift, your majesty, from the people of REYKJAKVIK.
RATTE-KINGE: [taking gift] What's this? Grass jelly?
CITIZEN 2: The finest food in all of REYKJAKVIK.
RATTE-KINGE: [incredulous] Grass jelly? [beat] Bah! [tossing grass jelly to the floor] What is Isselunde? A miserable little pile of grass jelly!
CITIZEN 2: ...your majesty?
RATTE-KINGE: ISSELUNDE is no proper land for a king! Rat-King KESSLER named me, and so shall I be. Let the tyranny begin! [gesturing to guard] Take him away!
CITIZEN 2: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
3a. As 1d.
DESMOND: [cont. from act 1] I am to slay the RATTE-KINGE GALGAMOTH?
KING KESSLER: Yea. It was he who stole the throne of Isselund, to which I rightfully ascended. He oppresses the peaceful people of Isselunde. He must be overthrown!
DESMOND: I will do it! But where am I to find this Ratte-Kinge?
KING KESSLER: In his tyranny, he journeys all across Isselunde. They say that he can be found now in the nearby town of Twinleaf.
DESMOND: [bowing, leaving] I will slay the Rat-King, in Timmeraque's name!

b. Setting: The Twinleaf Ford (the bridge at Creekside). Characters: Desmond (with DURENDAL), the Ratte-Kinge. Extras: A ratte-soldier.
DESMOND: [striding onto the bridge] Yea, the people are crying out for salvation, RATTE-KINGE! DURENDAL shall be your end!
RATTE-KINGE: [whirling about] What? Who are you? Yea, let my guard slay thee!
RATTE-SOLDIER: [charging] Yah!
DESMOND: [drawing DURENDAL and 'skewering' the soldier] Yea, the blade of Charlemagne disdains such foes. Have at thee!
RATTE-KINGE, DESMOND: [together, charging] For Timmaraque!
The two exchange blows in a heated melee.
DESMOND seems to gain the upper hand.
Suddenly, there is the sound of hoofbeats.
DESMOND: What? The ratte-cavalry! [stepping back, looking past the camera] There are dozens of them!
RATTE-KINGE: [laughing maniacally as DESMOND flees] ISSELUNDE shall be mine... forever!

c. as 1d.
DESMOND: [somewhat disheveled] Yea, though DURENDAL isse a strong blade, it may not prevail against the might of the RATTE-KINGE's army. How then may I slay this GALGAMOTH?
KESSLER: Though I didde not wishe it, the time has come. Yea, so that the RATTE-KINGE's army may be defeated, I muste wage revolution, relying on the people of ISSELUNDE.
DESMOND: And what am I to do, as you plot insurrection?
KESSLER: Let you find us aid for our cause. It is said that in a church to the east, there is a man who may command the king of dragons. Let you enlist him unto our cause.
DESMOND: [bowing, leaving] Yea, it shall be done!
KESSLER: [as DESMOND leaves, to himself] Now, find me the men BRADSUSHI, FISCHERDUDE, ROLANDUS...

d. Setting: A church. [The mormon church?] Characters: Desmond (with Durendal), Matthias.
DESMOND: [entering] A-hoy-hoy! Matthias! It is you? I never thought to see you here!
MATTHIAS: A-hoy-hoy! Yea, it has been many a day since I last saw you!
DESMOND: Do you know of a man who may command the dragon-king? Yea, it is said that he does reside here, and he is sorely needed for the liberation of ISSELUNDE.
MATTHIAS: Why... I am he! I command the MAGIC DRAGON KING. But I fear he is of little use in times of war.
DESMOND: Alas! Then my mission here is in vain. [turning to the door] I must depart!
MATTHIAS: Wait! Yea, though you may not command the King of Dragons in battle, I yet have the skill of 'powering up' weapons and armour, granted by faith the Saint Timmeraque.
DESMOND: Yea, shall the RATTE-KINGE tremble!

e. as 1d, plus Matthias.
KESSLER: You return! Yea, the troops are mustered, and the revolution is ready. The RATTE-KINGE, having sniffed out my plans, now cowers in REYKJAVIK. You must hunt him down and destroy him!
MATTHIAS: DURENDAL is now empowered; yea, I now goe to assist the brave rebels.
DESMOND: [bowing and leaving, with Matthias] In Timmaraque's name, the tyrant shall fall at last!

f. Setting: The Throne Room. Characters: The Ratte-Kinge, Desmond (with Durendal). Extras: A Ratte-Soldier, a Rebel Soldier (one of those named in 3c?).
DESMOND: [entering, with rebel] Come out and fight me, cowardly Ratte-Kinge!
RATTE-SOLDIER: [lunges; exchanges two blows with rebel, and then slays him] Yah!
DESMOND: [slaying Ratte-Soldier with ease] Fight me! REYJAVIK is liberated! You are alone!
RATTE-KINGE: [disheveled, emerging from behind throne] What... what do you wish of me?
DESMOND: Yea, you have many names: RATTE-KINGE, GALGAMOTH, NIKOLAUS. More numerous are your tyrannies, perpetrated on innocent ISSELUNDE. You have robbed KING KESSLER of his rightful throne. Now, in the name of Saint Timmaraque, who you have betrayed with your villany, I shall slay thee!
RATTE-KINGE: [drawing himself up] Yea, I shall not die thus easily!
They duel cautiously, circling the throne. Each insults the other.
DESMOND's insults: dung-eater, coward, throne-thief, helle-ponde-spawn.
RATTE-KINGE's insults: regicide, desmosome, silly little man.
RATTE-KINGE: [falling to his knees, DURENDAL at his throat] I am not defeated. Yea, the angel TIMMARAQUE has promised it. I shall rule ISSELUNDE so long as I live-
The RATTE-KINGE crumples to the ground, the crown falling from his head.
DESMOND: [wiping Durendal clean and sheathing it] The angel TIMMARAQUE preserves those of virtue. This RATTE-KINGE was no smarter than a mollusk.

g. Setting: The throne room, later. Characters: Desmond (with Durendal), King Kessler (restored), Matthias. Extras: A Royal Guard.
King Kessler enters, followed by the guard. DESMOND and MATTHIAS bow.
DESMOND: Your majesty. The RATTE-KINGE is dead, and yea, there was much rejoicing.
KING KESSLER: Yea, I shall then resume my rightful throne.
MATTHIAS: [after KESSLER sits, lowering the crown onto KESSLER's head] By the grace of Saint Timmaraque and all of his mollusks, yea, I do proclaim ye once more the rightful king of all ISSELUNDE.
NARRATOR: Yea, and there much rejoicing, and all present did smoke of the elf-dung and fly on the magic dragon king.
NARRATOR: And it was goode.

[credits roll]

A Wiki for the Movie

So yeah, the movie has a wiki now. Collaboration is typically simple in such a location. All of it will be incrementally added to a Jer's Novel Writer file, for ease of access while at school, margin notes, and simple sharing between Macs. If anyone knows of a similar cross-platform app, that'd be cool.

In the wiki, consistent formatting is a must, so that needs to be figured out for the acts and scenes. A cool format is already there for persons, places and things.

The RSS feed for changes is here.

Script Outline

Here's my thought vis. the League movie.

1) The Rise of the Hero Desmond
a) Desmond was Born, and he was Dead.
b) The Youth of Desmond [v. brief] and the Quest for Durendal.
c) The Acquisition of Durendal. [Archbishop Turpin is involved]
d) King Kessler's First Request.
e) The Slaying of the Bear-Weasel. [this is an edit]
f) King Kessler's Second Request.

2) The Rise of the Ratte-Kinge Galgamoth
a) The Ratte-Kinge was born, and he did eat his own dunge.
b) The Youth of the Ratte-Kinge
c) The Subjugation of Isselunde, and the Founding of the Ratte-Kingedom.
d) The Tyranny of the Ratte-Kinge.

3) The Fall of the Ratte Kinge and the Restoration of the Rightful Monarch of All the Realms of Isselunde by the Truest of Heroes Desmond who didde wield the Holy Blade Durendal.
a) The Finding of the Ratte Kinge.
b) The First Battle between Villain and Hero.
c) The Finding of the Ratte Kinge.
d) An Unfortunate Mistake.
e) The Finding of the Ratte Kinge.
f) The Final Battle between Villain and Hero.
g) The Acclaim of the People.
h) The Restoration of King Kessler.

fin.

What do you think?

EDIT (2): Two scenes removed: 2c, the Timmaraque Angel, and 3c, the Acclaim of the People.

Chronicles of Desmond Movie: StoryBoard

We should do something like this to plan out the movie. btw, who has a camera?

THE KRONIKKLES OF DESMOND: THE MOVIE—Planning stages

A few mos ago on Yaplet, the following conversation occurred. Summary at the bottom. (Johnnn is Jeltharo, of course.)

Johnn : dude
Johnn : look
Johnn : [www.youtube.com]
Johnn : nassau
* Superdotman clicks.
Johnnn: cool
Johnnn: so why are you superdotman?
Superdotman: DUUUUDE
Johnnn: whaaaaat
Superdotman: That thing's strong.
Johnnn: LOL
Superdotman: You see how much damage they're dealing?
Johnnn: dude that song's so cool
Superdotman: It's over NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAAAAAND
Johnnn: i have an mp3 of it
Johnnn: yea
Johnnn: i could do that
Johnnn: :O
Superdotman: It is a cool song.
Johnnn:
Superdotman: The Japanese are good at making music.
Johnnn: we should totally use it for the intro for THE KRONIKLES OF DESMOND: THE MOVIE
Superdotman: ?
Superdotman: Oh, the music.
Superdotman: Suuuuuuure.
Johnnn: lol pwnt
Superdotman: Is it live action?
Superdotman: Or otherwise?
Johnnn: yea
Johnnn: yea
Johnnn: we should film it over the vacation
Johnnn: get started on the script
Superdotman: Wait, THE KRONIKLES OF DESMOND: THE MOVIE?
Superdotman: Shouldn't it be THE KRONIKLES OF DESMOND: THE ANIMATED SERIES: THE MOVIE?
Johnnn: yea
Johnnn: ha ha jameosawajahsah cahm am muou o chou des ssang
Superdotman: ¿?
Johnnn: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Johnnn: when was it anmated?
Johnnn: besdes that would be harder to make
Superdotman: Oh so the whole thing's live action.
Johnnn: yea
Johnnn: thats the plan
Johnnn: lets get the guys together and wirte a scritp
Johnnn: and them we could film it somehtinm
Superdotman: So we're jumping straight int a movie without having a TV show first?
Johnnn: ...
Johnnn: duuuuude
Johnnn: wouldnt that be soooo cool
Johnnn: though
Superdotman: Well, yeah.
Johnnn: ok
Johnnn: so you sata wirte scrit
Johnnn: and i will work on it also
Superdotman: But the COOL TV shows become movies, and the LAME movies become TV shows.
Superdotman: As a general rule.
Superdotman: (Which can be broken.)
Johnnn: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Johnnn: dude come on
Johnnn: the movie;s real
Superdotman: So is it a retelling of the Kronikkles?
Johnnn: tv shows are hard to make
Johnnn: i actually want to do this
Johnnn: yea
Johnnn: yea
Johnnn: yea
Johnnn: so cool
Superdotman: Or a further point in the plot?
Superdotman: k
Superdotman: BRB
Johnnn: and then we can enter it into an independiet film festival
Johnnnnn: or something
Johnnnnn: penis
Johnnnnn: eej
Superdotman: So how are we going to authentically recreate the tension-filled atmosphere that is Isse-Lande in the 600s~1200s?
Superdotman: Costumes?
Superdotman: CGI?
Superdotman: Short animated sequences?
Superdotman: Papier mâché?
Superdotman: We totally need a realistic depiction of the Ratte-Kinge.
Superdotman: DUUUUUUDE
Johnn: A-hoy-hoy!
Superdotman: Yo yo yo!
Johnn: cool costumers
Johnn: and cheap special effects
Johnn: to add to the humour
Superdotman: Of the digital or physical variety?
Superdotman: Good idea, making them for humorous intent.
Johnn: :O
Johnn: physical is so much dausd
Johnn: i like@
Superdotman: Does 'dausd' have a positive or negative connotation?
Johnn: sama'
Johnn: good
Superdotman: Oh k.
Johnn: kasa
Johnn: kouko
Johnn: mara
Superdotman: I'm terribly sorry, but you're going to need to aim your fingers a bit better to make me understand what you're saying.
Johnn: ou sa soera
Johnn: shal is war the sama or sau toao
Johnn: sem?
Johnn: oi asa
Johnn: asa!
* Superdotman no te compronde.
Superdotman: *comprende
Johnn: sorry
Johnn: i meant
Johnn: do you want to sratt on the script?
Johnn: :O
Johnn:
Superdotman: Oh, start.
Superdotman: Not right now.
Superdotman: I'm making concept art.
Johnn: :O
Johnn: can i make concept atr as well
Superdotman: If you so desire.
Superdotman: It's your story and all.
Superdotman: And movie.
Superdotman: And pretty much everything.
Johnn: :O
Superdotman: So do you visualize these characters at all when you write the characters?
Superdotman: Or just the concepts?

tl;dr: So yeah, over the summer, we're making a live-action Kronikkles of Desmond movie based on the book, without a TV show first, complete with physical (not CGI) special effects that will be cheesy for both comedic effect and budgetary reasons. And it will have the music in this video as title music.