Monday, January 19, 2009

King Nikolas and the Courtesans

A ZhangCo production. (Most spelling errors corrected - except for the word "pysics"!)

once there was
a king nikolas
he was king of the babylonians
one day he wanted to have sex
but he already had sex with
all of his concubines
so he was bored of that
so he said
whosoever shall deliver unto me
a virgin that was more hotter
than my concubine
shall receive 100 hectares of land
100 sheep
and 50 goats
some herb
of the earth
so all the men in the place
went up
and put lots of mud-powder
on their daughters
so that they looked
and then they put jewels
across her nape
her ventrals
and silk
upon her dresses
and they went up to nikolas
and nikolas said
i have seen it all before
it bore me
i am a sexy man
then there was a young girl
who was the daughter of the vizier
and the vizier taught her all the maths
and like
the pysics
and like
the abacus
and like
and the vizier loved his daughter
so he did not want to giver her to the king nikolas
and then
the king went up tho them
and he was like
why have you not presented
a virgin
to me
for i am king
and then king nikolas saw
the girl
and he thought
this womon does not have mud-powder upon her nape
nor jewels on her bosom
and he thought that it was
that a womon would not think of her self
that she must put on these things
to be hot
and sexy
and he said
come with me
for you shall be my
and the vizier was like
but then she said
do not worry for i have a plan
and then the king took her
to the palace
and he gave her like
a garden
with some figs
and dates
and like
a cat
and he said
to night we shall have
they did
and then king nikolas said
what was i thinking
i would rather
have had
sex with a womon
with mud-powder
on her face
and jewels
upon her breast
such that
i am stimulated
to a greate extent
by the chafing
upon my skin
and then king nikolas said
tomorrow you will be
so i can have
another hot concubine
she was like
are you sure you would not rather
hear a story
and he was like
for tonight
and then
she told him
of the maths
and she told him
about the vectores
the squaring of the circle
the partial derivatives
the matrix
and king nikolas was fascinated
by this
and then the womon told him
if you want to know
more you will have to wait
for tomorrow
and he was like
and he did not execute
so then
she told him
about the pysics
and she told him about the forces
and the velotices
the vectores
and the motion
and the electricity
and the nucleus
and then
they next day
she told him about
the abacuses
the algorithms
the data structures
the object-oriented paradigms
and the data bus
and then
and for a while
the king nikolas
was very interested
and then
he became very much enamoured of these topicks
and he decided
one day
he freed all his concubines
and he became a scholar
in the grand academy
in france
and he took the womon
with him
to be his
real wife
and she was like
and they were very happy
that is why
nikolas is
the way he is
to day

(Director's Cut Edition: pretend there's a snake in the palace somewhere!)

Not at all inspired by Shahazrahad.

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