The Amazing Kelsey

Kelsey - friend to all, be they harmless rabbit, hapless peasant, or high-ranking aristocracy! Kelsey - lord of the wise, wisest of the lords! Kelsey - some people claim that he has a girl's name! (How indescribably rude!)

May I present to you today... the edifice erected to celebrate his iron-fisted, thousand-year reign over our people...

THE AMAZING KELSEY!


Constructed by the master craftsman D. Zhang, widely heralded as the capstone of his efforts, this immense mechanism took over nine years to construct - even with the assistance of Mr. Zhang's many descendants, themselves well known for their skills in the art. Nine thousand gears were used in its making; fifteen hundred flywheels; two hundred thousand chain links. It is a marvel of the world. But - not only for its appearance, but for what it does!

Watch in awe as he fires his powerful missiles - launching them from his totem-pole-like body at ultra-high velocities! Thrill to the massive delta-vees as their flame-exhausts propel them to the farthest horizon! Laugh delightedly as the missiles utterly destroy several nearby buildings, until you realize that they weren't props, and a number of homes and buildings were just annihilated with high explosives!

Wait.

Hm.

We'll get back to you on that one.

But until then, enjoy...

The Amazing Kelsey!