Friday, January 23, 2009

The Amazing Kelsey

Kelsey - friend to all, be they harmless rabbit, hapless peasant, or high-ranking aristocracy! Kelsey - lord of the wise, wisest of the lords! Kelsey - some people claim that he has a girl's name! (How indescribably rude!)

May I present to you today... the edifice erected to celebrate his iron-fisted, thousand-year reign over our people...


Constructed by the master craftsman D. Zhang, widely heralded as the capstone of his efforts, this immense mechanism took over nine years to construct - even with the assistance of Mr. Zhang's many descendants, themselves well known for their skills in the art. Nine thousand gears were used in its making; fifteen hundred flywheels; two hundred thousand chain links. It is a marvel of the world. But - not only for its appearance, but for what it does!

Watch in awe as he fires his powerful missiles - launching them from his totem-pole-like body at ultra-high velocities! Thrill to the massive delta-vees as their flame-exhausts propel them to the farthest horizon! Laugh delightedly as the missiles utterly destroy several nearby buildings, until you realize that they weren't props, and a number of homes and buildings were just annihilated with high explosives!



We'll get back to you on that one.

But until then, enjoy...

The Amazing Kelsey!

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