Wednesday, February 28, 2007

The League and the Maccabees

(Previous posts in the series: 1, 2, 3)

In Alexander's wake, his empire broke into several nations, ruled by tyrants each claiming to be Alexander's rightful successor. In the Land of Israel, the Jews fell under the rule of the Seleucid dynasty, in Egypt.

Now, in those days, the rulers of Egypt were troubled - they knew that in the widespread chaos following the end of Alexander's rule, they would need tight control over the lands in their possession if they were to retain them. Knowing this, they issued an edict - all citizens under Egypt's rule must worship pagan gods (the Greek gods imported by Alexander), and all other religous practices were banned. That included Judaism.

The governor of Israel, given his position for brave service in the League and Alexander's forces, did as he was told, cracking down on Jewish relgious practice, massacring Jews, and erecting an altar to Zeus in the great Temple at Jerusalem. This did not endear him to the Jews. One man in particular, Matthias the Hasmonean, was incensed to action - slaying a Jew who converted to worshiping the Greek gods, and fleeing with his five sons to the wilderness of Judae. One year later, after Matthias's death, his son Judah Maccabee led a group of Jewish dissidents to victory over government forces through the use of guerilla tactics, and claimed Israel for the Jews.

The League of Desmond chapter in Israel, composed of the Seleucid governor and his retinue, fared poorly with the fall of Seleucid rule in Israel. Most were slaughtered when the capitol fell, but one man, Dorus, survived, fleeing into the wilderness. There he went to a cave, where supplies enough to feed one man for nearly two months had been cached during Alexander's campaign. There, Dorus hoped to wait out Maccabee pursuit, to emerge later and make his escape then. But most of the supplies had been ruined by vermin and foul weather, leaving him with only seven day's supply where he had expected fifty-six. In the Temple in Jerusalem, when the Maccabees went to reconsecrate it, only enough oil was found to light the 'eternal flame' for one day - but when it was lit, the oil lasted for eight days, enough time for more oil to be prepared. If that was a miracle of the Lord, then Dorus found himself the victim of the reverse.

Dorus, having little choice, took the supplies that remained intact and fled across the desert, losing two camels and most of his flesh off of his bones. He arrived in Egypt skeletal and delirous. After he recovered, he pleaded with the League of Desmond in Egypt (led by Egypt's king, Antiochus IV) to take vengeance on the Jews - but to no avail. Egypt had already reached an accord with the Jews, giving them autonomy under Egypt's rule, and had no interest in throwing that away for some abstract League of Desmond solidarity. Dorus sent envoys out to neighbouring countries, seeking vengeance - but to no avail. He died alone, disillusioned with the League of Desmond. The Jewish kingdom lasted a dozen more years under Egyptian rule, and then won full independence, lasting eighty years more. Clearly, the League of Desmond was not what it had been.

Moral: Jews are awesome.

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

The Chronicles of Desmond, Chapter 7: A Brief History

Desmond wausse moust certainlie bourne inne Iaeiyissellaynneanndde, ande att the peake of hisse powere, hee wausse detterminned to defeate the eville tyraunte Nikkoulausse, whou was the ratte-kinge, and who didde impose manie tarriffs and taxxes, on his sitizens, and hee didde favour large busineses, and Courporationse, and he didde oppose the nationale Banke, and Desmomde did addresse all three issues, and hee did pass mannie bills and they did empouwer hisse seworde, and it did imbue it with magickkal pouerre, and hee did use itte to slay Nikoulasse, who was deffeatede.

A cool thing


Check it out, Desmond and I have accounts Desmondito and ISSE-LANDE, respectively.

Webcomics AND more

I suggest webcomics being once a week. This would prevent from a flooding of posts about webcomics.
Also, I like the latest addition to the history of the League.

Monday, February 26, 2007

Perdiccas and Meleager

(It may be useful to refresh your memory with this post before reading.)

Perdiccas was a Greek, a descendant of minor princes in the province of Orestis. He joined the League of Desmond at an early age, and possessing a great physical ability, he excelled, rising to become a notarch in the League and a cavalry division commander in Alexander's forces. In the League, it was said that there were only two men in all of Alexander's lands who could rival Perdiccas's strength and skill: Alexander himself, and a Macedonian general named Meleager.

Meleager was not a prodigy; at the time of Perdiccas's entry into the League and Alexander's forces, Meleager had been serving under Alexander for ten years, commanding a significant force of infantry, but for most of that time had lacked either opportunity or ability for advancement. It might be reasonably supposed that this stasis was not so much due to any lack of skill on Meleager's part as it was to his non-membership in the League of Desmond, a necessity for high placement in Alexander's army.

Perdiccas now became Meleager's rival; not only in strength, but also for the love of a woman, named Celandine. Celandine was known as a woman of unusual beauty, which perhaps explains why the eyes of both Perdiccas and Meleager fell on her so close together. Masters of strength and war, they battled fiercely for Celandine's affection; and it was a hard blow to Perdiccas when Meleager, not of the League and lacking Perdiccas's prodigy, took Celandine's hand in marriage.

Perdiccas married afterward - repeatedly, in fact - but these marriages were for power, not love. He still burned for Celandine; and well did Meleager know it.

On Alexander's death, both Perdiccas and Meleager were well positioned to make a grab for power. It was the natural extension of Perdiccas's rise, the chance for Meleager to rise out of perpetual medocricity - and a chance for both of them to assert dominance over the other. Perdiccas argued that rulership of Alexander's empire should be granted to Alexander's unborn legitimate son (with Perdiccas as regent), while Meleager contended that the empire should go to one of Alexander's bastards (whom Meleager could easily control). Perdiccas lulled Meleager, who had become head of an opposition faction, into waiting for Alexander's wife to bear her child - then had him and his loyalists arrested and murdered for mutiny.

Perdiccas would marry twice more, each time to the daughters or sisters of great princes, before his death at the hands of his own officers following his failure to cross the Nile. Without a single leader, Alexander's empire fragmented, splitting into a dozen warring factions. The League, having bound its fortunes to Alexander's, followed suit. And Celandine drank hemlock upon hearing of Meleager's murder.

I know this one's a long one; it's taken rather too long to work on. The next one will be shorter, and then (I suspect) its successor will be quite the doozy.

State of the Leagueblog

All right. I'm finally back from Mexico, as you might have noticed, and I plan to shape things up properly. The David-posted webcomic posts will be improved (errors corrected, images added), my History and Legends posts will start going up at a frentic rate... that sort of thing. As always, I invite contributions from the rest of the League. Continued chronicles, League business, or even (disgusted though I may be by it) comments on "Hard Gay" (as you call him) will be welcomed, or at least accepted in the latter case.

And I'm still totally enthused vis. posts on the Church of Timmerick.

At Devin's request, I'll be suspending the webcomics for a week. Perhaps they'll go to every other day after that. I'll bring them back sooner or more frequently by public demand; that is to say, two comments in less than a week. The 'free thing of the week' will continue on schedule, assuming that I can continue finding free things.

I think that's all for now. Signing off:

Emperor of Ethiopia,
Nicholas Flyingburger.

Sunday, February 25, 2007


so sorry!
completely forgot about the posting thing

But I don't think anyone reads them anyway, so no harm done, right?



Relatively recent math/esoterica webcomic.
Started September 29, 2005. Drawn in a wide variety of media.
Creator: Randall Munroe.

If you don't read the alt text on the strips,
you'll be missing out.



Very, very, very long-running webcomic -
a bit of a minor legend in its own right.
(Characters from it have cameoed in published novels.)
Started August 25, 1997, and it's been running a strip
(or 'filler') day of every week of every month of every YEAR since.
Creator: Pete Abrams.

Honestly, this is one to read on a rainy day -
or a rainy week. There's a lot of continuity that
makes it tricky to jump in at the current strip,
and ~3500 strips aren't something to scoff at.
Though Abrams has his ups and downs over the has his ups and downs over the 10 years he's been drawing the strip, the thing as a whole is quite

Starslip Crisis

Starslip Crisis

Science Fiction humour strip.
Started May 23, 2005. Created in Flash (??),
black-and-white. Updates on weekdays... probably...
unless the wind blows the wrong way. Creator: Kristofer Straub.

This is actually Straub's second webcomic -
the first, Checkerboard Nightmare, was a
webcomic parodying pop culture, other webcomics,
and occasionally itself. Starslip Crisis is
significantly less strange. Its plot begins here.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Web Comics

We need to cut down (especially David) on all the web comics being posted.



Provides encrypted LAN access - over the Intertubes!
Useful for remote LAN parties and - well, whatever
else you can do with LAN that you can't over boring ol'

The download is here.

Girl Genius

Girl Genius

Graphic novel about mad scientists - on the Internet!
Started (online) April 18, 2005. Hand-drawn, inked,
coloured, the works - it's quite lovely. Updates M-W-F.
Creators: Phil and Kaja Foglio.

This was originally sold in print only,
but it was moved onto the Internet two years ago
(for free). Surprisingly, this resulted in a dramatic
increase in sales.

The story begins here.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007



Humourous 'mad scientist' webcomic.
Ran from July 31, 2000 to December 31, 2006.
Hand-drawn. Creator: Shaenon Garrity.

Probably one of the best webcomics... well... ever.
And that's not just my opinion. Plus, now it's free!

The beginning is here.

Monday, February 19, 2007

A Miracle of Science

A Miracle of Science.

Science Fiction manga webcomic.

Completed February 12, 2007. Computer-drawn.

Creators: Jon Killgannon and Mark Sachs.

Very, very cool. And just recently completed!

So it's all there for you to read. Began here.

Sunday, February 18, 2007



Humor/Horror webcomic. Started June 4, 2002. Switches
between hand-drawn and Illustrator-created artwork.
Updates on weekdays. Creator: John Allison (A Brit!)

The story begins here.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Sam and Fuzzy

Sam and Fuzzy.

Humorous webcomic with convoluted but rewarding plots. Started in 2002. Hand drawn and inked; black and white. Updates MWF (Monday, Wednesday, and Friday). Completely regular in schedule. Creator: Sam Logan. Sam and Fuzzy is one of my favorites.

This might be a good place to go first.

Friday, February 16, 2007



Fantasy manga in comic form. Started in June of 2004. Used to update with several pages a week, but due to Vista-related technical difficulties is currently in stasis. This does not change the fact that several hundred pages wait in the archives. The beginning is here. Creator: Sarah Ellerton.

Administrative affairs

I will be away over the break, from this coming Sunday (the 16th) to the next. I will be in Mexico. (Mexico is south of the United States, and north of South America.) While there, I may or may not have access to the Intertubes, and I may or may not have access to clean drinking water. In the latter contingency, I have authorized David to keep the site updated in my absence, and will forward him a list of webcomic links and a Free Thing link to keep those features running while I am away. Whether I gain internet access in exotic Mexico or not, I will be almost certainly deprived on Sunday, so David will end up posting then either way.

Just a heads-up. I'm never entirely certain that anyone READS this blog, but it's best to hope.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Kronnikes, IIIIVI

The Kronnikles of Desmond VIIII

Desmond wausse bourne in Isse-lande, and he did Encounter a greate hourne made of Materialles, and it was infinite in lenghte, and it was volumeed by the function 1/x revolved about the x-axis, and he did slashe it with its seword, and the volume was not infinte, and he wausse verry perplexed.

Old Chronicles

Following is a several-year-old Chronicle of Desmond, one of the earliest examples of the form. The document is heavily damaged but the contents are still largely legible.
EDIT: It ate my formatting. Sorry! This used to make slightly more sense.

he K Nikolas Saga
Booke Beginning: Chapter 1: Birth of Alastor
In the begin e wasse a Man. He wasse of nobele
bloode, und life to a young lad, who wasse borne
nis livelyhood. The boy wasse Nikolas, and he did becomen
the greates sword-slayer in the kingdom. In Iselund,
Nikolas survived her Winter und he gained the strength
of many Men. And he did eat much fishe stews, with
mayanaise, and he did acquire Durendal, who
gave him greate furtitude.
Chapter 2. The Battle of the Beaks.
Nikolas went out and he did see a grate white
bird, made of the flames and ashes of the
ancestors of Galgomoth, and he did fighteth the
burd with Durendal, and he did unleash
great fury with its power. When the burd was
been slainth, Nikolas gained thy holy dominance
over his soule, and becamed Mothman.
Chapter 3. Siege at Trafalgar.
Whene Nikolas used his mothe-wings and he did fly
to the port-"city-state" of Trafalgar, who wasse
in being raided by many pirates and rappescallions.
He did see this, and moth-wings, and the
fortitude of Durendal, he did unleash a storm
of grate fury on the bandits, and he did
become a hero from the pointe on.
hapter 4. Journey to Grohgomos.
se empoured by the many bandit soules,
n strength to throw axes upward,
lugs and sand buggies on his
of Grohgumos, where the
eak havoc on the town.
Chapter 5. The sting o pent.
Nikolas did encounter the serpent, a
did slash and throw many axes
whereupon, it fell and t a larg
crystal, whereupon, it drained thy energy
from the dessert, thereby making the iced creme
melt, the cookie crumble.
Chapter 6. The Legacy of the Obelisks
As Nikolas tried to shatter the black Obelisk,
he found it created many great beasts of the
sand, which he defeated and he did gaine
their souls, und he was empoured. The now
indefatigueable Nikolas did use soul Power of
the Puppet Master to irradiate and shatter
the black crystal, restoring th dessert
to its original sugariness and deliciousness.

The Kronnikles of Desmond, Chapter 6: The Magic Dragon King

The Kronnikles of Desmond
Chapter IIII
Desmond wasse bourne in Ice-Land, and hee wausse deade. As the cheiftain waurrioure of his villiage, hee wausse caulled vpon to go and vanqvishe the evil king of Ratte Nikoulasse. On hisse firste journie, Nikoulasse didde stoppe and slay elvies in the forest and wooudlandes, and he did collect manie and maine of theire droppyngs and he did starte a Fyre and he did use the droppings to summone the Magick Dragonne Kynge. And then nikoulasse sang a song, "Nikoulasse wasse a small woodland creaturre and he lived among the trees and nymphs and sprites".

EDITORS NOTE: David and I have decided that the Magic Dragon King is a drug reference. Just so you can understand this a little better.

AUTHORS NOTE: We never agreed to any such impropriety, and the Magic Dragon King is an innocent character with nothing to do with drugs of any kind.

Rebirth of the League of Desmond

For a millennium, the League of Desmond vanished. After the destruction of the Mycenaean culture in which it first flourished, the League perished, remembered only in Homer's histories. In 365 BC, however, a young king, Philip II of Macedon, felt the need to inspire martial fervor in his followers, to further his expansionist aims. To this end, he turned to an established martial society, with an immense weight of history and prestige behind it - the League of Desmond. In this incarnation, Philip II was the first initiate, and his generals and elite troops soon followed.

The League of Desmond under King Philip II was an ultranationalistic, ultramartial organization. It prized valor and loyalty above all other traits, and members who possessed these characteristics were praised and elevated above their comrades - a means of limited social advancement in an otherwise largely static class structure. To some degree, this freedom provided by the League of Desmond can be seen even today. Members of the League, though differing in age, race, and academic prowess, have the chance to interact on an equal footing within the League.

The League remained thus under Philip II, building up a generation of tradition and valor under that king. It flourished as the king built an unprecedented alliance of Greek states (with Macedon as leader) and launched an invasion of Persia, Greece's traditional enemy. When King Philip II was assassinated in 336 BC for reasons unknown, the League of Desmond was able to smoothly transfer its fealty to Macedon's new king: Alexander.

Alexander moved swiftly once crowned, brutally eliminating potential competitors for the throne and continuing his father's invasion of Persia. He won victory after victory; conquering all of Persia and dethroning its emperor, marching south to conquer ancient Egypt and then east to take Babylon and western India. In all of this, the League of Desmond served him loyally, acting as his right hand. It was said of Alexander that he would trust no man as bodyguard nor as general but a member of the League.

Under Alexander, the League of Desmond achieved a dispersion such as it never had before. From Athens to Babylon to Nicaea, the League was known as a tool of Empire. That dispersion granted it immunity to the fate its last incarnation had suffered; such that even on Alexander's untimely death and the fragmentation of his empire, the League of Desmond survived, though fragmented and diminished in its own right.

Schlock Mercenary

Long-running science fiction webcomic, mixing humor and drama. Started in June of 2000. Hand-drawn and coloured. Updates once a day, every day, for the last several years. Completely regular in schedule. Creator: Howard Tayler. (A practicing Mormon!)

The creator (and I) recommend this as a starting point. You can start at the very beginning, but the artwork is hideous (there) and the jokes are... hmm. Worse. Or, of course, you could just skim around at random; you'll lose something of the plot, but the strips are designed to generally stand on their own.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

The Kronnikles of Desmond, Chapter 5: An Introduction

Humble Beginnings

The origins of the League of Desmond can be traced to the times of Ancient Greece, in Mycenaean times. The League was originally founded as a competitive warrior's society. Members would test each-other in skill and strength, in such sports as wrestling, running, and the discus-throw. It was an elite society, only open to members of the warrior aristocracy that ruled Greece at that time. Membership was highly prestigious, and there was a grueling initiation process, including such challenges as maintaining a philosophical debate while being wrapped in brightly coloured streamers to the point of near-immobility. Some part of that tradition remains to the present day.

That incarnation of the League of Desmond, however, fared poorly as Mycenaean Golden Age faded. With a wave of invasions by the barbarous Dorians, the warrior class had no time for frivolities, and the League dwindled in importance accordingly. When the last of the Mycenaeans died or fled to remote islands, the League of Desmond was little more than a legend. Its legacy, however, would be recorded in Homer's great epics, and would eventually be revived.

A fairly awesome thing:




Free instant messenging metaclient. Allows you to use AIM, ICQ, MSN, Yahoo and IRC instant messenging all from one program, with one interface.

Irregular Webcomic

Webcomic focusing on science and bad puns (though by no means restricted to them) with a variety of themes. Created in the medium of 'photoshopped pictures of Legos'. Started in 2002. Updates once a day, every day, for the last several years. Completely regular in schedule. The choice of name is... somewhat ironic. Creator: David Morgan-Mar.

Possible Content

I was thinking a bit in Physics today, and I came up with some things we could put on the blog. The list:
-Chronicles of Desmond (of course)
-Maple Quest talk
-Java talk
-MacBook talk
-The History and Myths of the League (this would be something I'd write, and fill with lies)
-Church of Timmerick
-Webcomic of the Day (this would probably be me shootin' a link off)
-Cool Free Thing of the Week (same)
-YouTube videos - the same sort of things we've been shootin' off on the mailing list
-Rocket Science
-Tenets, Constitution, Expansion Plan for the League (especially the Constitution)
-Game Reviews - of whatever I or someone else feels like

I think I'll put the links up in a few minutes. As with the rest of this blog, all of you should feel free to chip in and post stuff - there's a reason that you're all contributors.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Nickoulas, this is for you.

I am a Iewe: Hath not a Iew eyes? hath not a
Iew hands, organs, dementions, sences, affections, passions,
fed with the same foode, hurt with the same weapons,
subiect to the same diseases, healed by the same
meanes, warmed and cooled by the same Winter and
Sommer as a Christian is: if you pricke vs doe we not
bleede? if you tickle vs, doe we not laugh? if you poison
vs doe we not die? and if you wrong vs shall we not reuenge?
if we are like you in the rest, we will resemble you
in that. If a Iew wrong a Christian, what is his humility,
reuenge? If a Christian wrong a Iew, what should his sufferance
be by Christian example, why reuenge? The villanie
you teach me I will execute, and it shall goe hard
but I will better the instruction.

League Associates

The auxiliary post to the League Rolls. David, feel free to suggest additions; I'll add any legitimate candidates.

Carson U. - Junior
Currently in Washington D.C., as he has been for the past year, but still cool. Out of touch with the main body of the League for some time now.

Roland P. - Junior
Not really a member, but... hey, why not? Once-named 'Propaganda-boy', though he's not too fond of the name now.

Brad M.
- Junior
Very good at hurting people; okay at swimming. Responsible for the name of the League's former abode, North Bradfordshire.

Roy Timmerick - Teacher
Patron Saint of the League. He's cool, and has great faith in the capabilities of mollusks.

Mark Saint-John - Teacher
1) Teaches cool maths. 2) Has an unusual accent. 3) Is very disappointed in you.

Allanah Ujifusa - Teacher
Ujifuusaa! Woo!

Michelle U. - Senior
Isn't really an associate, but we know her and she's pretty cool!

League Rolls

(This has been transferred from the old blog.)

A list of dudes that I remember as being in the League. Dudes, if you aren't included: Shout out! I will amend matters NEAR-INSTANTANEOUSLY.

Ethan F. (Maraj)- Freshman
Nick's brother. He has a lot of hair, and is the youngest member of the League.

Nicholas F. (Cavalcadeofcats)- Senior
Conservative liberal, Jew, blog creator, and generally all-around excellent dude.

Devin M. (Desmond) - Senior
Namesake of the League. Cool Mormon dude. Swims and has curly hair.

David Z. (SaintOfSwords) - Senior
Completely insane, but awesome. The hinge around which the whole League spins. Correspondingly, he is somewhat oily.

Kelsey H. (KingKessler) - Senior
Canadian. Speaks some French. The only one of us who David can't provoke to violence.

Stephen F. (Fisherdude) - Senior
He swims? Also, he likes to inflict pain, and program computers. These activities coincide surprisingly often.

Matthew S. (ChihuahuaMormon)- Bum
Everyone's Mormon big brother. Or something? He's Mormon, and, um... yeah. Tall.

Lynn H. (PsychoBunny)- Unknown
The English buff. Speaks English, and is buff. He has no natural enemies, as they've all been out-vocabularied and tackled.

[This is an ARCHIVAL POST, from the founding of the blag. It is completely out of date.]

Account Inanity

Due to fiddliness with Blogger Beta/nonbeta, two invitations will have been sent out. The latter SHOULD be the correct one to choose - the other won't work properly. Again, apologies for any inconvenience - as they say, technical difficulties.

League of Desmond Blog Founded (again)

After some difficulties with a non-google account and other oddities, the new blog is up! (Again.) Old post follows.

Woo, first post!

We've been talking about this for a long time, and now it's finally here. The League of Desmond Blog is ready for action. I'll retain administrative control, but as soon as I can manage it, posting will be opened up to all members of the League. A mission statement, FAQ, cast page and so forth will be added at whim.

Long live Desmond! Long live his people!

EDIT: Okay, I know how to let other dudes post. You'll have to register for a blogger account: when you do, just comment to that effect, and I'll give you "team member" status. It'll be ROCKIN'.

EDIT-EDIT: Nevermind. You can post if you want, but I don't actually need that to give you "team member" status. Just... accept the invitation I send to you. You still need an account, as far as I know, but it should be simple.