Old Mr. Nicholoose

Who wouldn't like the idea of "ftwww" as a sound effect?

Old Mr. Nicholoose

he is a grump

and he bumps

into people

at the mall

people whom he knew during his college years

but whose names he'd forgotten by the time that he was Old

and he gives them nicknames based on the traits of theirs that he remembers

and they are like "wut"

and he says "Oh, you didn't know?

"We always called you that when you weren't around.

"But it was pretty much teasing.

"Not to make fun of you.

"It was ironic!

"Ironic is the word I would use.

"Ah, those were the days...

"Anyway, I should go.

"You should call me sometime!"

and then he would leave

before the person could inform him that the person did not have his telephone-number

but of course he knew that

because he did not have a telephone

because he grew up in a family with fifteen children

and the phone always rang

and it was always for someone else

but he always picked it up anyway

in the hope

that someone would care about him

(and express this care by telephoning him)

(even though he had never told anyone his telephone number in those days either)

(because no-one had ever asked for it)

(and he knew this)

(but he never gave up hope)