Thursday, January 15, 2009

St. Nikulaso, St. Kesleo, and The Consortium of The Five Womons

The Nikolas Theatre Troupe Presents:


by Nicholas Feinberg, esq.


Ande hisse Name Was Nikkolass,
Ande he diéd.

The End



Nikkoulasse, Count of Saxony, Baron of the Castle upon Ipswitch, and Adjunct to the Stewards at the Manour of the Duke. He sits in a Oak Throne, writing a lettre, to be mailed subsequently to Lord Kessler, for his Reading Pleasures.

The Letter Reads:

I write to innforme you, Gentlemen of the Roundes twenty leagues from Liverpoole, of a most curious and, For the time being, Unknown to the Membres of the Publick, Circumstance, which one may describé most aptly as a Devysing Tricke, and a Shamme. Therefores, shall I not divilge by what most profounde manner did I come upon such an Intimate Knowledge of the Topick I shall decry, yette, If thou shalt for give me, recount to thee in divers mannres the workinges and machinations of the Most Unusual Groupe known amongste them selfes as most simpley as : The Consortium of the Five Womons.

It begane upon the Fourth Weeke at the Université when I encountred the first of the Culte, a youngge maiden, though of her piëtie I canne not be sure, nor was I able to Dettermine whether she had her self a hosbonde, or was Engaged to the viscount. She and I mette at the Tabernacel, where she was involved in the Sermon which was given by the Ministier, and thus frequented the Stage where she was Greatley Visible, even from Longe Distanses. A curious Property of this girl which I am sure will delighte you, Gentlemen, and your Wontan Wayes, was that at the first encounter, I was led into beliefing that she was not a youngge maiden, or indeede even a membre of the Distaff Sexe, but rather a whipping-boy of the Clergie, or a Monke, or a Parish, or a Bishope. However, after thouroughe Examinationes of her Personne, of which I shall not detaile in this Lettre (for they are Quite Lewd, and Lascivious, and Immoralè, and Un-gentalmanley, however, if Thou wishest to know of such Behaviours, and for them to be Described in Intimate detailes, then Thou shouldst aske of the locale Gossipe-Monger, which shall know of These Behaviours, in great Detalè), I was shockèd, to disckover that she was indeed a most lovely youngge girl, with a pleasant Demeanour, and of a marriageable age, and quite Nubyle. I will cease to speake of her nowe, but shall I perforce return upon my Discourse in Latere sentenses, for there were many more Womons which I had not yet Disckovered. Thusly, Littel did I knowe, at the Tyme, however, that in that very Tabernacle, therein conteyned both the Second and the Fifth membres of the Unusual Groupe.


It is at this pointe that Nikkolas stopes writing his lettre, and raises uppe to fetch some nourishemente, and latere a whiskey and a cigarre.

to be comptinued

1 comment:

Cavalcadeofcats said...

Oh, I am far too excited! Tell on, tell on, tell on!

(Very nice highlighter-work - though the bit about the TA perhaps leaves somewhat too much unclear for those not already acquainted with the particulars of the matter? Ah, on further consideration, perhaps it's best left as it is.)