Sunday, November 30, 2008

Ruling Rosveltia

"Every mushroom has its owner."

In the land of Rosveltia, two princes reigned. One was a man of honour and nobility. His name was Charles. The other was a vile wretch of a man, who should have never been allowed to live to adulthood, much less inherit the dual throne. His name was Dans.

Naturally, some enmity arose between them. Yet they were opposed to violence, in this matter: Charles feared of the consequences to Rosveltia in the event of war, and Dans was too much the coward to fight. So instead, they arranged for a peaceful contest, with binding results: whomever was defeated would be instantly beheaded, and replaced on the dual throne by whomever the winner chose.

Unfortunately for Charles, the contest was a spitting-on-orphans-contest. "Oh no!" cried Charles. "I've never done this before - nor do I want to, really - and Dans has so much experience! I'll lose - and die -and Dans will rule Rosveltia!"

So he stood back - watched Dans start spitting on the orphans, waited until he got really enthusiastic about it - and then lopped Dans's head off.

"Ha!" Charles cried. "Justice has been done!"

Then he noticed that Dans was still ahead on points.

"Aw, shoot," Charles said.

Then his head got chopped off.

Now Rosveltia is a democracy!

Hooray for nonviolent conflict resolution!