Wednesday, November 05, 2008


Yea, behold, in the Land of the Maccabees, there was a King, and his name was MATTHEW, and he feared the LORD, and had he 200 wives, and 500 sons borne to him, and he had a dwelling, and was it verily the widthe of ten thousand furlongs, and was it covered of the mosse most hairy, and vapourous. And yea, did MATTHEW say, one day, upon his throne, unto a servant-boy, did he saith: "Go ye to the west five hundred furlongs, five hundred tymes, and ye shall find the kingdom where there is the King who is of the name NIKOLAS, and a worshipper of false idols is he, and drinketh him from the cuppes of the river of bloode, and doth he engageth in fornication, such that my wives are drawn to him, and his prowess in the bed-chambres, and they doth fornicate with him, and it is evil." And then Matthew said unto him: "Go ye and seeketh out this King, and tell him of his misdeeds, and if ye takest out thine sworde, from the hilte, to the tippe, and lay out his bowels upon them, such that he die, and bring me his body, and shall ye be rewarded with ten shekels, ten times; and if ye takest out thine sworde, but he yieldes, and he is thine prisoner, such that he prostrate him-self upon the ground, and to the LORD, and not to a false idol, shall ye be rewarded with twenty shekels, twenty times." And the boy, his name was DESMOND, and he did hear the King, and he did go on the road, with a horse, and a jar of preserved fish, and currants, and milk which was contained within the bowels of a goat, and he journeyed to the Kingdom of the Nikolas.

And it came to pass that Desmond arrived in the Kingdom of the Nikolas, which was upon the mountain at the Red Sea, and he saw the wives of the Matthew, and they were virgins, and they had many attractive features, such that Desmond desired to fornicate with them. And he did. The end.


Cavalcadeofcats said...

Tragedy! Or... is it?

A most compelling tale, sir! I enjoyed the mosse especially.

Kelsey said...

That was excellent! I liked how easy it was to identify each character.