Thursday, November 27, 2008

Annals of the Amanuensis

The humble servant woke late on that fateful morning. His first task was to return the personal belongings of a friend. This was, the servant knew, a story in and of itself. The friend - known as the Iguana - had volunteered his Macbook as a video-recording tool for a project assigned to the humble servant. The humble servant recorded the short clip required - this in itself only a minor challenge - but, when the editing process began, the Iguana transformed - became consumed with the need to eliminate all flaws from the video, no matter how trivial! Every um, every uh - painstakingly eradicated! The task consumed the Iguana - and in the end, he left his portable electronics behind, in his rush to return home, recharge his MacBook, and complete the task!

So the humble servant fufilled his duty, returning the friend's belonging. He continued in the course of a normal day - maths class, attended. Bagels, eaten. View, admired and photographed.

He returned to his dwelling, and set to work - and somewhat was accomplished! But he, the humble servant, could not work long, for there was packing to do.

The humble servant assembled many things onto his person. His computer, battery, associated cables. His iPhone, iPod, associated cables. His notebook, pens, pencils, calculator. Enough clothes to last four days in the wilderness - for this the servant was forced to pack only underclothes and a single shirt, for he had not room for any more jeans than he wore upon his person. And still he packed - DS, wallet, sweatshirt, aeroplane ticket... and there was something he was missing, he realized.

He had no ticket for the shuttle-bus to the aeroport.

This caused a panic. He ran to a friend's digibox, his own packed away - could he sign in somehow, re-register, re-print - he knew he had saved it - but it was nowhere! Disaster! All seemed lost, and the hour grew near when a precipitious departure would be called for - yet a friend saved the day. He unraveled the riddle of the database, and from his electrobox spewed the ticket required. The servant, overjoyed, seized it, offered thanks, and fled - only to realize, minutes later, that he had forgotten to lock his bedroom door in his haste.

Alas! There was no time to return. The humble servant offered whispered prayers to the family gods, and rushed onwards.

The humble servant noted, as he arrived upon the shuttle-bus - in plenty of time, perhaps owing to his haste - that despite all seats having been reserved beforehand, there was much space left open upon the bus. This was contrary to the stories he had heard, and he hoped that no-one had missed their bus - but it rendered the uneventful trip to the aeroport more comfortable, so he offered no complaint.

Inside the aerodrome, the line was long and the crowds were thick - yet all moved swiftly. The servant progressed through the trials, and all ended well - yet, on consideration, the servant deemed one event worthy of note.

After the Ceremony of the Queue and the Ceremony of the Identification, the servant found himself naturally at the third ritual, the Ceremony of the Unburdened Soul. He took the steps required - the Separation of the Laptops, the Placement of Metal Objects in the Provided Bins, the Removal of the Shoes - and noted, as he did the latter, that one of the TSA Priests was examining his DS. Opening it, closing it, removing the dummy-GBA cartridge in an attempt to see its markings...

"Why do you do this?" the humble servant asked.

The Priest of the TSA seemed sheepish. In return, he inquired evasively, "What game do you have in there?'

"Mario Kart", the humble servant answered truthfully - as is ever his nature.

By now two of the TSA Priestesses had noticed the conversation. One remarked, "Hey, I have that exact one!" After a request from clarification from the other priestess, the first clarified, "A red DS Lite".

This concluded the encounter, for the most part - though it was a thing of such pecularity that the humble servant could not help but note it at this later date. (He suspects that the priests and priestesses may have been bored.)

(Some would say that his DS Lite "attracts womons", which renders the humble servant a "pimp". Obviously, this is not a thing he would claim himself. He is far too humble.)

The ceremonies were all completed a quarter-stroke before the first hour after noon; the humble servant's journey was scheduled to begin a half-stroke past the second hour. So for nearly two hours he waited, watching people pass and go in the crowded aero-atrium. Across from him a man opened the magazine "Maxim", perusing it with great concentration. The humble servant occupied himself by other means.

This long period of boredom was - as such things sometimes are - followed by a short period of panic. The humble servant entered the queue to board his flight - at the Gate and Time which he had checked repeatedly. He found that he had the same boarding-identifier as another person. His flight number was not the one being boarded.

The humble servant considered that he might have missed his flight.

After seeking advice from afar, he looked to the aero-employees to find the truth. They told him - "Go there, to the place opposite this, where you will find the gate you seek." The humble servant ran and rushed, and boarded on time - setting himself in readiness for the flight. He breathed a sigh of relief.

It really had been a matter of some concern.

The aerotrip was swift and painless. (Little of interest occured during its length, saving only the offering of salted peanuts, which the humble servant consumed.) From the sunny land of Saint Diego, the servant arrived in the bleak and rain-filled land known as the Sacrament. There his family elders met him, and in their company he traveled to their home. For hours he ate of their food, made in the old style, and partook of their company and - later - those of his own parents. The Humble Servant had arrived -

And he was content.
Happy end!

1 comment:

Calvacadeofcats said...

an author's accurate annals and analepsis artfully articulated astound and amaze