Tuesday, November 11, 2008

WOMON SAGA I

(Translated by M. Keslley Higgumms, who, at the time, had smoked several quantities of herb, such that his quarters were too filled with smoke to peaceable enter, for fear of a quarrel.)


ONE DAY, in the course of human eventes, when the Nikolas, who was a sculptour, and a painter, did go unto the workeshoppe of the blackesmithe, and did he obtaine aliquots, and flaskes, that day being the day of the most seriousse studies, in which measurementes were care fully made, yea, did he fill the flaskes with an aliquot of the oil of vitriole, and the soda ashe, and the quicke lyme, and did he mix it vigourously, such that they were balansed of the humours, and did he drinke it, to warde off the divel, and it was goode. And yea, beholde, in the course of the doinges, and the proseedings, did he, being a young rappescallione, and he, led off the pathe of righteousnesse, by temptationes of the fleshe, which were not in accourdanse with the doctrine of the apostles, stare, and gaze, and oggle many a fine young maidenne, who were scullyinge aboute, in the chambres, and did they carry chambre pottes, for the collectione of waystes, and did they wear clotheing, that was limited in the couverings, and the modestie, for they did not wante to soile their fine linnens, and Nikolas saw this, and it was goode. 

And he, being berefte of any countenanses which were pleasinge of the eye, and the charme and witte of a foxe, which were in possissoun of many of the other menn there, yea, he being a scoundel, and one of the King's men, and a tax colectore, did he not fynd a mann to assiste him in his aliquotes, and did he worke, in the soli-tude, and did he, by witte, or the divine providense, or the grace of God, finish the mixing of the aliquotes, ere his comraddes, and did he, in a boastful jibe, gyrate his muscles, which were below the sashes of his belte, and indeed, make motions that were most not characteristick of Christian menn, and it was goode. And did he leave the shoppe, and, yea, behold, by the grace of God, did a womon, who was in the there, did the womon leave the shoppe in a simultaneousse manner, and did they speake, and converse, and discusse worldlie matters, and did they pray to the Lord, in the chapele, and did they make manie sinns which doth vary from the doctrine of the apostles, and it was goode.

1 comment:

Cavalcadeofcats said...

The grammars of this tale are quite peculiar.