Friday, November 21, 2008

King David

Once upon a time, a Great Master cried out:

David: i am depress

He was wounded; his life's blood spilling out upon the ground! (In the land of metaphor.) His student, desperate and afraid, sought to help.

nick: noooooooooo
I must cheer you up.

The Great Master counselled against it:

David: it is imposibel

But the student was too loyal to abandon his master so readily. He thought for a moment, and then decided on a course of action.

nick: I will tell you a tale!
One upon the time, there was a man called David.

The master was unimpressed:
David: ...

nick: He was the King of the Jews.

The master was offended.
David: hey!

nick: One day, a man came up to the David.

The master was confused and delirious from blood loss.
David: is this that naked womon story

Then he fell silent, and let his student tell the rest of the tale.


"You are not the King of the Jews!" he said.
"I am!"
"By what right do you claim that?" replied the noble, wise, and just King David, from his twenty-foot tall throne.
"Look at me!" said the interloper.
King David looked.
The intruder had a sign upon his chest:
"I am JUDE", it proclaimed.
A man named Jude! "Why," King David said, shocked, "That's the name of the man destined to kill me and take my throne!"
"That's right!" said Jude, drawing his sword and advancing upon the King.
"And," King David continued, "That's the name of my son, who my wife sent away for fear of the prophecy!"
Jude stopped, alarmed.
"...your son?" he asked.
"Yes, you are," King David told him.
"I have missed you so much..."
The two embraced.
Then they hunted down the prophet and killed him!
It is a sin to practice false prophesy, you know.
Then everyone was happy!
All thanks to the wisdom of King David.
The end!


The master considered the matter for some time, chest moving up and down raggedly. (Metaphorically.) He opened his mouth once or twice, as though to speak; but nothing of value or meaning came out. The student watched anxiously, uncertain of the merit of his efforts. Then the master offered his judgement:

David: you should blog thta

The end!

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