Breakfast-Time

Another lecture from the renowned Professor Z, transcribed and edited by the poster.

AGENDA:
-Breakfast components
-Threats of a Poor Breakfast
-Leeches
-Your Children (also, Saving the Princess; also, Stardust;)

For a proper breakfsot, you must eat:

eggs

bacon

sausage

roast beef

pudding

white sausage

blood sausage

kidneys

liver

beans

tomato

toast with

jam

butter

perserves

and

marmalade

cream

milk

juices

tea and coffee

with

cream

and

sugar

english miffins

scones

crumpets

croisssant

and

cigarettes

What will happen if you omit any one of those? (Also: why beans?)

then you will die

alternativley

it will be "bad for the humours"

(Appendix to the list above:)

cheeses

pastries

fruit

and

yoghurt

You just lump "fruit" as one group?

you can only eat

0.5 grams

of fruit

because

otherwise you will imbalance the humours

(also beans are "traditional")

Should one err - for instance, by eating a whole apple, instead of a healthful cigar-ette - what can be done to repair the damage? How may the humours be rebalanced?

you must drain the blood

preferaby

with leaches
you must buy them

in the market square

Trials to be surpassed in the acquisition of leeches:

you must avoid

the temptatoins

of the brothels

if you have sexuel with the humours imbalanced you will suffer great shocks

and your children will be born with the plague

You will learn of your children's sordid fate thus:

because they will be put in a box

and taken

to your door

and then

you have to go through the magic portal

in the wall

to rescue the princess

that you had sex with

because she was a slave

and like

her brothers

were fiting each other

to becom the king

and you have to go to the airship

but the guy was a homosexuel

o

and like you get turned into a mouse or something

and like the girl tells you she love yo

u

but like you can hear

even tho you are mouse

and then like

i forgot

what happen next

o and you have

a magic candel

that you can go anywhere with

o and like

there were witches

and they like cut animals

to see their entrales

and they used a rock

to make them selfes younge

o and there was a guy

called septimus

snape

and he had 7 buttons

on his shirt

and he had this guy

who told the "oracle bones"

but he was lying

so he kill him

o and the girl

was actually came down

from the sky

like a metore

and the dude like fell on her

And that is how to have a proper breakfast!

Please thank Professor Z. for his generous contribution of time to our humble blag; hopefully we'll see him again soon. There will be a cumulative exam on this material next section.