Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Hrrrg!

Hrrrgh!

Death.

Thought it would hurt less.

Damn.

So here I am. Across that great river. No longer possessing a farm. Upender of the bucket. Dead.

Probably should do something about that.

What can I do?

I can think, obviously.

Can I see anything?

No.

What about moving?

Can't do that, either. Just... nothing there.

Can I feel anything?

Hear?

Smell?

...wait, what's the last one again?

Hey, I can taste something! Sort of like... vinegar, mixed with lye... yeah, wow, wish I hadn't thought of that.

But wait. If I can taste things... can I move my tongue? Yes! Something... spitting it out... (how can I talk with my mouth full?)

Echh, that was nasty. What is it?

A coin? It's black, and covered in... okay, I'm going to stop looking at it now. (How do I know that?) And... it's on a table? Yeah. Right in front of me. (Was that there before?)

The table is rocking back and forth, just a bit. I can tell because the coin is moving a little side-to-side, but it seems to be more than I'd expect, maybe... yeah, I'm rocking back and forth, too! Or rather, my seat is - it's a wooden bench, in the side of a boat. (What? I couldn't see that a moment ago!)

Now that I'm thinking about it, I can see the rest of the boat, too. It's pretty small, and there's a guy in front of me, in the boat. He's saying something... can't quite hear...

I lean in. Ah! He's asking, "Who are you? Why are you here?"

I answer, of course. "I'm dead. Isn't this the land of the dead?"

He's panicking now. "You're crazy! And if you don't start paddling, we'll both die!" His arm thrusts out of the boat. I look-

Ah. A waterfall, not far away. We're approaching it quickly.

"Paddle, god damn it!" he cries.

There are oars at my side. I take them and paddle, as best I can. He corrects me, and with more luck than skill on my part, we've landed on the bank.

"What were you talking about, back there?" he asks.

I'm a bit confused myself. Either the land of the dead isn't all it's been cracked up to be, or there's a serious misunderstanding going on here. I tell him, "Last thing I knew, I was dying. I was pretty disoriented for a little bit, then I saw you yelling at me. Are you telling me I'm not dead?"

He looks uneasy: "I... don't think so. I thought you were, for a moment - you looked like you had a heart attack, then you froze up. Then, after a moment, you started looking at me."

I look down into the boat. There's no coin.

Finally, I have a guess as to what's going on. Just one more question.

"What is my name?" I ask.

"Jerry," he answers. He's still frowning.

My name is Alex Green. I've been hospitalized for three years, incapacitated by terminal cancer. Today, I died. And now, quite curiously, I spat out a coin, and lived again, just as Jerry died of a heart attack.

Reincarnation: who knew?

2 comments:

chihuahua_mormon said...

What the frick was with the coin?

King Kessler said...

Excellent.

Also I don't get the coin either.