Doug, Slayer of Dragons

There was once a man named Doug. Now, Doug was clever, and witty, and pretty, and fond of the sound of bells. But one day he got into a great deal of trouble. He was walking by the village chapel - wanting to hear the bells ring, of course - when he saw a dragon! It flew right up to the village, knocked through the chapel's roof, ate the chaplain, and then flew away!

Doug was rather alarmed. He ran around town shouting. "A dragon ate our chaplain!" But no-one would listen. "Foolish Doug," they'd say, "It's a dragon! There's nothing we can do but set out dragon repellent for future."

Doug was still upset. He ran all the way to Reykjavik! "Good King Kessler," he said, "A dragon ate our chaplain!" But King Kessler couldn't help. "Sorry, old chap, but there's a Galgamoth ravaging the countryside right now! There's nothing I can do." It was true! Doug could see him out the picture window, ravaging busily, burninating the countryside. The dragon would have to wait.

So Doug ran all the way back home and thought. "What shall I do about this priest-eating dragon?" he thought. "Hmm! Perhaps I can talk him out of it!" So he ran toward where he'd seen the dragon flying. He found a village. They said, "The dragon went that way!" So Doug ran that way. Then he saw a volcano! He thought, "Of course!" and ran straight up it. The dragon was inside!

Doug spoke to the dragon. "Please, sir, will you give us back our chaplain? We have rather more need of him than you do."


The dragon burped, and spit up a skull onto the ledge where it sat.

Doug was very annoyed. "You digested our chaplain!" he said. "Also, you are breathing fire at me, and trying to eat me, even though by all rights you should be full!" (It's true, he was.) So Doug ran away, like a good Doug. And he ran around the dragon, and around, and around! The fire was always behind him, but Doug ran just a bit faster. And Doug ran faster and faster until the ledge the dragon was on just crumbled right away! It fell into the magma looking rather displeased.

Doug turned to face the camera and grinned. "That's the last we'll see of that dragon!" he said, puffing out his chest. His teeth glinted.

Behind him, a scaly head poked up over the rim of the volcano, smoking slightly.

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