The Dread DeMorgan

DeMorgan was famed in his day - more often infamous than the alternative. He started his career as a privateer for the Spanish against their enemies. When they realized that DeMorgan had a habit of preying on Spanish cargo as often as English, DeMorgan defected to the Dutch before they could exact retribution. When the Dutch realized the same, he fled to the English; but they had some idea of his perfidiousness, and rather than sending out a polite note of complaint when DeMorgan took an English ship, they sent three ships of the King after his head. DeMorgan - now known as the Dread DeMorgan, for the dozens of ships he had taken in his long and profitable career - fled one step ahead of the English, making for the neutral port of Tripoli. There, he set up operations in his own name, pirating even more aggressively than before. But that is not the central theme of this narrative. No, today we are here to tell you of DeMorgan's legacy.

Three days out of the small port of Tobruk, DeMorgan encountered a convoy of merchant ships. "There!" the lookout shouted. "Three ships - a barque, a galleon, and a caravel!" DeMorgan chuckled evilly. "Don't fire on the barque or the caravel - hit the galleon!" he said.

But his gunners were confused. They shot at the caravel and the galleon! DeMorgan was furious. He told them angrily, "I said, don't hit the barque or the caravel! That's the same as saying, don't fire at the barque, and don't fire at the caravel! Fools!" Then they boarded the galleon and killed most of its crew and stole all the cargo.

Next, DeMorgan gave orders to attack the rest of the convoy. "Don't fire on the barque and the caravel!" he roared. "Concentrate fire!"

But his gunners were confused. They didn't fire at all! DeMorgan was even more infuriated. "I said, don't fire at the barque and the caravel! That means that you shouldn't fire at the barque, or that you shouldn't fire at the caravel! Idiots!" Then they boarded the caravel while the barque sailed away. They'd been too slow!


And that's where DeMorgan's Laws came from!