Sunday, December 07, 2008

Od in a Sequel

After Od died, there were a lot of rumours going around. Some people said that the Prince killed him. This was obviously crazy, and no-one paid it any heed.

But there were stranger rumours. One held that Od's body was buried in a courtyard outside the prince's palace. From the grave rose a tree, and from the tree sprouted a flower, and from that flower came pollen that, one cold winter night, entered the open window of the bedroom of the notoriously-impotent prince's wife; in the autumn of the next year, that same wife gave birth to a boy who bore no resemblance to the prince. Clearly, this was the result of an immaculate conception; the child was that of Od himself, or was Od reborn into a new form!

Others suggested that a simpler explanation might involve a certain handsome nobleman from the prince's court climbing the aforesaid tree, entering the aforesaid open window, and accomplishing the conception rather less immaculately.

But that has nothing to do with Od.

Another story suggests that Od never truly died. He merely feigned death when stabbed to prevent further stabbing, and was swiftly rescued by a friend. He will return from the "dead" when the conspirators reveal themselves, and will enact a terrible vengeance upon them.

This becomes less convincing with every year that passes after Od's death. It's a nice story, though. Everyone likes it. A popular playwright is adapting it for the stage. Early reports say that the play will be a magnificent, a sure blockbuster.

But that has nothing to do with Od.

A third legend suggests that Od's ghost rose after his death to haunt the city that killed him. His conditions: he would not cease until all the citizens of the city sang out at once, singing a song of woe and regret for Od's death. Only then would he cease the terrors he inflicted upon the city.

This is a very popular tale for parents trying to terrify their children.

But this, more than any of the others, has nothing to do with Od. I mean, really. A song? He had no ears!

So, what then, if none of these stories are true? Is all hope lost, all goodness gone from the world? Should we all go home and run a razor across our wrists?

No! No, man, calm down. It's cool. There's no need for that kind of extreme thinking. Just calm down. Think of what Od would do.

He would party!

woo, party

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