Tuesday, February 12, 2008

A Valentines Story

At the request of David, I will be writing a story about:
"valemtimes day"
"ppl-x" (which I have no idea what that is, so I'll ignore it)
and "economics"
and I think hitting on womons.

I'm just going to start writing, and see how it goes. No promises about decent quality.

One day, which was valentines day, David decided to hit on many womons, to see if any would date him. The idea was to increase demand for him from possible womons, while keeping his supply stable, so the price for him would go up to the point that someone would commit to going out with him.

And so, the night before, David made a love potion, and he bathed himself in it.
This would increase the demand also.

And the next morning, he went out, and began to hit on many womons.

And the womons smelled his pharamones from the love potion.
And so they wanted David.
And so they demanded him.
And David hit on many womons.
And so they wanted him more.
And so, in this economic situation, normally the smart thing for a company to do would be to increase the supply.
But there was only one David. Such is the cruel curse of love.
So David had to reproduce. But, being human, he could only reproduce sexually.
So he picked a womon, and mated, and accelerated time so within 10 minutes, David had reproduced and had created children who were the same age.
But they were not David. They were David's children. Because David was human and reproduced sexually. Such is the cruel curse of love.
And so, David saw only one option.

So David began to eat a lot. Until he got very big.
Then he closed his eyes...and concentrated...very hard...
it took all of his focus...
it felt as though he was being ripped in half...
perhaps, because, he was...
slowly, each half of David becoming one...
ripping...pulling...
until...
there were two Davids.

And so, David ate more.
and he went through mitosis once more.
And again.
And again.
And again.
So now there were 32 Davids.

And each of these Davids took a womon, and asked her out.
And each of these 32 womons, said yes.

But there were 34 womons.
So two of the Davids split into two.
creating a total of 34 davids, as represented by the following binary number:
00100010
And so, Davids used their powers of Bio AP, and Econ AP, and Comp Sci AP
to create 34 successful relationships with Davids and womons.

And so, it was a happy valentines day.
And Davids were pleased.
And Womons were pleased.
And Miss Ujifusa was pleased.
And Miss Cakes, and her husband Nickoulasse were pleased.
And the Ferrante was pleased.
But most of all, The Mighty Timmeraque, who's knowledge of these subjects was extensive and without bound, was much pleased.
And it wasse goode.

3 comments:

chihuahua_mormon said...

I'm a tad disappointed in what I came up with. Not that I have high standards.

Cavalcadeofcats said...

Most of it was okay.

But the Ms. Kakes thing is getting a little bit old.

Neh?

King Kessler said...

I thought it was great! Probably because I had/have all these classes and I feel resultantly special.

What's the origin of the Mrs. Kakes thing, anyway?