Noncanon

Jeremiah walked along the road, whistling a merry tune.

Out in front of him jumped a band of vicious bandits!

Jeremiah seemed unperturbed.

The bandits growled and waved weapons menacingly. "Give us all your stuff!" their leader demanded.

"Nope, you're noncanon now," Jeremiah told them.

Okay, pretend that you didn't read anything before this.

Jeremiah walked along the streets of Sandia City.

A gang of ninjas ambushed him!

Jeremiah awoke to find himself bound, gagged and tied to a chair in a pitch-black room.

He thought, this really isn't canon.

Okay, pretend you didn't read anything before this.

Jeremiah floated in a featureless void.

An avatar appeared before him. It told him, "Look, the author's having a really hard time coming up with a plot or a challenge for you. You just declare everything you dislike noncanon! It's really tricky to do anything-"

"This is noncanon, too," Jeremiah told him decisively.

Okay, pretend you didn't read anything before this.

Now everything is great!