The Woodland Creature

O, Bidoof!

Dost thou frolick, in the hills and the woodlands?

Dost thou possess, as thine most sterling asset, a name of purest levity; failing any possession of stamina, strength, speed, or any other trait of mind and body that might render thee at all useful?

Dost thou evolve - yea - evolve into a creature that is just as useless as thee art?

Truly, Bidoof, thou art the champion of all humanity.

When the children go out to play, do they bring with them a stalwart Bidoof, at which they may point and laugh.

When the adults go to work, do they bring with them their own Bidoof, so as to show, despite any lacking in skill or dedication they may own, their evident superiority to some thing on this earth.

When the old ones go to their eternal rest, do they bring with them a dozen - nay - a hundred Bidoof, their numbers being sufficient and value so little that such is considered a merely adequate token of affection for the departed.

O, Bidoof! What a wonderful, terrible name thou hast! How utterly useless thou are.

It is the Gastrodon which shall reign for all time as king among beasts.