King Kessler's Tips for a Good Life, Applied

So I chatted with Theophilus again, and he had what he considered to be excellent news! He would have posted it himself, but you know. He's a pigment of my imagination and all that.

Theophilus (22:08:11): Mission Accomplished!
Theophilus (22:08:21): i did thing with 8========D
Theophilus (22:08:27): with hot womens and the sister
Theophilus (22:08:29): it was goo
Theophilus (22:08:50): because i went over there and was liek "y you are cool thing you want thing 8=====D
Theophilus (22:09:01): with your sister and I and ouya"
Theophilus (22:09:02): heoh
Theophilus (22:09:03): heoeh
Theophilus (22:09:10): ye and then it wasw goat
Theophilus (22:09:20): becasue we al in the bckroom and it was fuin
Theophilus (22:09:26): and it was invigoarating
Theophilus (22:09:27): and fiun
Theophilus (22:09:43): and then afterwards it was all like that was co cool let do again
Theophilus (22:09:46): someother dat
Theophilus (22:09:49): go
Theophilus (22:09:51): T?HE END