My Very Professional Review of the Nike 4062 (404)

[So I totally need to post something interesting on the blag at some point, but I don't really have anything interesting to write about. So here's something I wrote when I first got my glasses; if project365 is to be trusted, this was originally written on January 11, 2007. I was such a n00b back then! Good times.]

I recently had a chance to review Nike's 4062 model of eyeglasses. My left eye is perfectly fine for everyday life, but my right eye has always been subpar. With the age of driving lessons (not the act yet, mind you) upon me, it was time to gain full peripheral vision. Keep reading for my thoughts.

Novelty

The Nike 4062 consists, as with most pairs of glasses, of two lenses surrounded by a frame connected to what I affectionately and ignorantly refer to as "ear-sticks" and "nose-blobs". This particular model has plastic lenses and metal frames of some sort. It's definitely a bizarre experience to have two plastic slabs in front of my eyes. With some other, non-eyeglass plastic slab, I might be prone to say, "Say, I can't see! I should probably move myself or this plastic slab in such a manner that would result in its not being directly in front of my face. That way, I will be both more psychologically stable and physically capable, both at a level I am used to." However, these plastic slabs augment my vision. They render the old, non-slabbed world obsolete. I am tempted to hold on to these as long as I live. It is not unlike acquiring a new superpower.

Interactivity

One would expect eyeglasses to be a minor, or even a major, inconvenience, for more reasons that one. However, I have only experienced one of these, and I am actually enjoying it. The issue is that of peripheral vision--my slabs are relatively rectangular, and as such, things above and below it are more blurry. Not unusably blurry--I have gone for the first sixteen or so years of my life with these eyes--but unaesthetically pleasing relative to the more detailed things they have since become. As such, if I am lying on my bed with my MacBook resting on my legs, I need to lower my glasses to the tip of my nose in order to have a clear(er) view. Thankfully, I am enjoying this interaction, at least for the first day. It probably ties back to a feeling of power. My regular vision is blurry and boring, but this new vision is a superpower I can wield at will. Once I begin to depend on it, I suspect that regular, unslabbed vision will become something I will grow to curse. That's when I'll get an astronaut-esque head bubble.

A second inconvenience I always thought four-eyed folk had to put up with was that of glasses slipping down the nose. I've always had this trouble with sunglasses. However, I quickly learned that this is not the case--everyday glasses are fitted to be largely unnoticeable by the wearer. I can look down and shake my head as if to say, "No, fish, you may not squirt water on me. I understand that this is a defense mechanism you have been entrusted with, but I am no predator; I am merely here to hypothetically demonstrate shaking my head whilst looking downward." Indeed, I can shake my head much more vigorously than I do on a regular basis, to no ill effect.

Style

It's a proven fact that glasses can make anyone look smarter, and the Nike 4062 is no exception; I have been the subject of several observations of this nature. All of these observations come within my family, however, and it remains to be seen how friends and acquaintances react. I have no way to tell if I look more attractive, so field testing will need to be done to reach conclusions in that regard. I picked a blue colour, officially dubbed "denim" (no. 404), which is slightly amusing because I don't own a single pair of jeans. I therefore have some potential to do a pun along the lines of "404: Pants of similar colour not found."

HD

Finally, the Nike 4062 would not be eyeglasses if it did not make me see better, and see better it makes me do. I can see everything I could before, and no new information is being conveyed, but everything is clearer and cleaner, or dirtier in some cases, as I can see detail everywhere. It is now more difficult to locate objects of note, as there is more visual clutter, but I expect this effect to subside with time. Everything is more defined, but there is now more to define. The city looks pretty, and the wilderness will most likely share this characteristic, so I could find myself enjoying camping more. Overall, everything looks better and new, but I don't know how long this novelty will last. I suspect this is a feeling similar to that of getting an HDTV.

Unpleasantries

As with any good thing, there are bad things to ensure a balance in the Universe. The first bad thing is that of paranoia. If I scratch one of the lenses, I'll have to put up with it for up to two years. However, I'm sure things will turn out okay. The second is that of small rooms. I have to look straight at the toilet and the sink when doing things in the restroom. I'm sure I'll get used to that, though.

The Bottom Line

The Nike 4062 is a very well-put together product, and I plan on using it for a while. The good outweighs the bad, and the novelties will not disapear, but remain as conveniences. Overall, I would give it a

Very Nifty out of AweXome

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