The Way of the Timmerick

EDITOR'S NOTE: The end of the series 1 histories has been postponed, pending authorial inspiration and/or anyone asking for it. (Anyone! Please!) This is the prototype of the modern pseudohistories.

Many a day ago, the tranquility of the League was shattered by strife between the League's founders over that most mundane of things - lunch-food. For months, years, the League has banded together at lunch, giving to one another of their food and of their trash alike, for the common good. Devin contributes saltines; Kelsey contributes (or contributed) cookie crumbs; David contributed french fries; and I myself give partial or whole Nutri-Grain bars or Pop-Tarts. This symbiotic relationship helps keep the League of Desmond strong.

But the Devil is always whispering, waiting to catch some poor soul off guard and snatch him off the path of Timmerick and straight to Old Scratch's Hell. That recent day, his words snuck into David's heart, feeding the greed and lust that lurks deep within every man. David is normally as pure a Timmerite as any you might see, being co-Pope of the Church, but on this day he saw the Pop-Tart crumbs given to Devin and he were of differing sizes - and that injustice created an opening for the Devil to crawl into. David, diabolically influenced, struck, demanding more pop-tart bits than he had gotten - demanding them with violence. I myself, being a man of peace, did not strike back - but I equally refused to right the wrong I myself had commited, until I saw that nothing else would allow my escape from David's crazed grasp.

After the deed was done, David left us, to ponder as his anger cooled. What have I done?, he wondered. Though they did wrong me, should I have strayed from the path in turn?

To David's vast surprise, a pillar of light spread around him, and an Angel of the Timmerick descended from the heavens. You have done wrong, son of Isselunde, it said in a voice divine, but the Timmerick will forgive you should you mend your ways. Amend your mathematical sloth! Post Chronicles of Desmond on the blog! In this manner shall your sins be oblated. Let your friends find their own peace with the Timmerick.

Humbled and awed, David knew that he would follow the angel's words. Would that we all might possess such grace.

Moral: We might be too mean to David, Pop-Tarts are tasty, David should post more on the blog.

Fin.