The Chronicles of Desmond, Chapter 19: The Battles of Haustoria

After Desmond's vicktorie at the battle on the Harbour, hee wausse indeed feeling verrie haughty and proude. And yea, it did have much dire counsequensesses. And yea, when Sir Matthias, a welle-respeckted menberre of the clergie, did come bearing gyfts and goulde treasures in his saffe-boxxe.

"Heare me! Men of the Sweord! Thou hast fought welle, and yea thou shalt be rewearded in generouse!"
"But Sirre! I Hath fought in the Warre against the priates for several weeks! And yea, I desire much to slake my thirste for treasures! Make us wait notte! Open ye safe-boxxe anon!"

And it came to pass that hee did offere itte to the Celebratours, and yea, Desmond did inflict grievous injuries to Sirre Mathias. Because it came to pass that when Mathias offeres the goulde and treasurres, Desmonde, who had fought in battles and was want to quenche his thirste of treasurre, did wantonlie reache into the satchelle, and did precure a lagre handdefulle of gouldes, ans this dissapouined Sir Matthias, and yea, he was offended, and yea, hee didde prohibit the taykinge of gould from his boxxe, and yea, Desmonde wausse upsseet. And it came to pass that Desmond in rage, partlie by the heate of battle, and partlie becaouse of the withdrawl of gouldes of Sir Matthias, that the did attacke himme, and yea, the Blood spilled, and it was red, and it drippeth over the ground, and it was goode. And yea, Sirre Mathias, being a memberre of the clergie, did heale himself, and yet the damage wausse donne.

And it came to pass that a surreptious event had coincided with this spectacel, that Nikoulasse, the Ratte-Kinge, didde by chanse disckover a large partition of foodstuffes on the general grounds, and yea hee didde pick this uppe, and yea, he wausse fuled for severlale mounthes, and he wausse the ratte-kinge, and yea, he did comsume his excrement, as all rattes must do.