Warbling Jottlebugs

As Evelyn went to check her mail, a tremendous rumbling began to come from beneath her garden path. Startled, she stepped back onto the porch of her house; and in a spray of dirt and small rocks, a Warbling Jottlebug burst forth - six feet long, black and green and mottled, judged by scientists to be the most adorable of all riding-animals in common use!

"Ah!" Evelyn said, clutching her hands to her mouth in surprised delight. Then she noticed - the Jottlebug had a rider! And that rider held a package. He handed it to her.

Inside was a pink heart, with a message atop it. "To Evelyn, from Jacques, for Valentine's Day. Will you be mine?"

Evelyn was rather startled. "For - for me?" she asked, belabouring the obvious somewhat. Then, beginning to recover, she swiftly added: "But it's long past Valentine's Day?"

The messenger gestured sheepishly at himself, the package, the Jottlebug. "All this took some time to arrange - I didn't quite make it in time for Valentine's Day. I'm sorry. But - I love you!"

Then came a pregnant pause. The messenger held his breath, searching Evelyn's face for any signs of her response.

After a very long minute, Evelyn finally responded. "...Oh, Jacques, I do adore you as a friend - but - not that way. I'm sorry."

The messenger's eyes flashed. Then it exploded in a spray of sparks, the startled Jottlebug fleeing back underground. It had been a robotic decoy - not the real Jacques at all!

Oh, clever Jacques!

Now, not having recieved the bad news in person, he shall be perfectly happy for-ever!

Technology really is the salve for all wounds.