†ale of gay-lussac

NIKOLAS stirred quietly in his chaire, which swiveled around in his dimly lit chambre, amidst pyles of news-paper clippings, and waste resepticles. To his right sat the inimitable MR. ROBERTE, who, at the approbation of the Nikoulase, and a most bilious sensation in the gut, came unto his chambre to assist him in a most arduous labour. The girl of which the Nikolas most desired, and to whom he was Bethrothed, but not, in the litteral sense, was MS. RACHELE, named after his Catte.

At this moment, Nikoulous contemplated how he would most win over the hearts and minds of the girl, and he resolved himself to compose an allegorie, which would express his fielings. Mr Roberte would help him in this, for earlier, the Nikolous asked of him, "Sir, if it doth not intrude upon your time, which is very precious, for you are a minister of God, and if you desire, out of brotherly love for me, that you should assist me in this endeavour, of which I am greatly entangled." And he said that he would, and he came to the dormotory of the Nikoulous, and they dined on Whale meat, with berries and herbes from the ground, and A portion of Seal blubbre. Then they put on fur-coats and proceeded to enter the igloo, where they would contemplate the Essay to be written.

After hours of preponderance, they emmitted this piece, to be submitted for the approbation of the young girl.

"Dear Sir or Madam:

I must write to you to inform you of my most private and inner thoughts, of which are of great concern to you, specifically, which I shall elabourate thusly:

I wish to engage in sexual intercourse with you

"

She read it hastily, and ran off into the countryside, never to be seen again. The men were both sad, so they consoled themselves by rubbing warm oils upon each others bodies, and annointing with a cloth, and then laying together in the sun-shine, and drinking honey and wine from a bee-hive.