Monday, November 19, 2007

Of A Womon and Slugs and Such

Once upon a time, a Kelsey wanted to fly.
then, a nikolas set his sails upon fire, and launched it to him, filling his wings with hot ait
The Kelsey ducked back, pulling out an morningstar on a stick.
then nikolas evaded using a potion that made him jump to a higher molecular orbital, and he flew to the libvm , whereupon he encountered a womn
The womon shot away from him, propelled by antigravity rocket sled-skates.
but nikolas pursued her, compelled by the love in hisheart
Then he burst into flames.
flames of love (they spahed a heart)
The heart grew legs and ran away, leaving Nikolas to pursue it.
but nikols's love for a womon overcame all obstacles, including the love-heart-hypnosis-mesmerisation, leaving him once again to chase the womon (in a horse-drawn carraige) also it made that cool song from pride and prejudecie
Ignoring the cheating with "also" to turn two sentences into one, Nikolas whipped his horses on, shouting "Faster! Faster!"
because he uttered the magical incantation, the horses grew to ten times their size and grew jet boosters on all limbs, also laser vision
Dodging the lasers, the womon was hard pressed to keep her distance, and was soon mere feet from Nikolas's chariot.
nikolas leapt out of the chariot, and shouted across the pouring rainstorm, "are you going to a danse-crawl at the bhooligons"
She turned and looked at him.
then she said "nooooooooooooooooooooooooo" and "IT"S OVER 9000
A Nikolas leapt in his rocket-ship, returning to Isselunde Citadel.
then he realised he had made a falate mistake: he relised that asking the womon had somewhat strong impliacations that he was "interested in her" also he became a space-slug
Sliming out of his rocket-ship, he confronted the Davidde, asking, "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?"
then the davidde answered, "AAAARGH" oh noes i must rectify the situatioin and write her a letter that explains the situation and also ask her to a dance, and the letter read:
"Dear Madam, closest to my heart of all ladies, friend from a young age, tender of my affection, lily of the night, master and mistress of the mathematics.
your presence is requested at the "lion's den" at twelve o'clock for much debauchery and dessert-drinking
Insofar as that is true, I regret misleading you by the presence of my dear friend Mr. Nikolas, who has petitioned you and thereby been transformed into a slug, nonesurpassing my desire for your presence.
it is therefore incumbent upon my person to lay spread before you with sword impaled through the back, and to humbly ask the reason of your non-attendance, whilst reaffariming my reuqests for your arrival
Most sincerely, certainly more than a liar, though somewhat less than the pope under the doctrine of papal infallability, while remaining more sincere than him on the occasions of his hypocisy, I remain yours.
Msssr. Nickolas J. E. R. B. I. L. finebreail, esq, MD, PhD, JD, etc"
And he didde send it, to be carried upon the night vapours, and the updrafts, and the wings of the sylphs, and the cherubs, yea, that do populate the airy realms upon which his message was carried.
David: yea, and the miasmas of the lande, and the gryphoyons, and the nymphs, and they didde deliver it in a timely and curteous mannere, and the womon did receive it and review its contents, and she respondede thusly:
"Sir Davidde, who is fond of using Msssr Nickolas for his own devices, I will respond to you thus:
"i have pondered the correspondende of such detailyes enclosed and enchambred in your communique and hereby decide to ansewr your qualms thusly:
and then the letter was sent by the same night vapours, except in the reverse, for it was a night of wind-storms, and it reached the sender backe then
And that is the end of our tale for now; but who can tell what will follow next, for a Davidde, and his Nikolas-slime, and his coy mistress?
and then they all had iced cremes
And cake.

Author's Note: This was a collaboration between David and I, in which we alternated sentences to illustrate the events of the day. Some spelling mistakes have been corrected; most haven't. Also, google "To His Coy Mistress" for a "good time".


Desmond said...

Did any of it actually reflect the events of the day?

Cavalcadeofcats said...

Actually, yes.