Continental Matters

Africa was restless. It was downtrodden by the boot of the White Colonialist. Also, it lacked a sufficiency of chop-bars, wherein food might be made with flour, and sugar, and other things. Africans and Africa were dehumanized! So Africa rose up.

Stretching, towering, it rose from the earth, rock cracking and crumbling away. It stood higher than humans can really comprehend! Africa is pretty big. Crying out, it asked, "WHO IS WITH ME? WHO WILL FIGHT DEHUMANIZATION!"

Slowly, with geologic patience, the other continents stood up to help Africa. South America, and its big Northern brother; Cocky Australia, hulking Asia, and even condescending Europe. (Antarctica was there too.) They stood, monuments of nature.

Then came the demons of Intolerance, Ignorance, Racism and all the other old slothful creatures. The continents fought against them - but it wasn't enough! They just couldn't do the trick. The demons were whipping them!

Reeling from a vicious fistcuff, South America cried out: "We're losing, guys! We've gotta beat them - together!"

Australia launched a kick, sending a demon flying, and agreed. "Let's Fuse!"

The Continents huddled together. Africa led the group. "Australia and Antarctica, form the legs! Asia, you be the torso! Americas, form the arms! And I'll be the head!"

The robo-continent towered over the demons. Prepared to squash the opposition, it waited while Europe made an objection. "Didn't you forget about me?" it asked.

"Hell, be a sword or a gun or something," Africa suggested.

And it did! (I think it was a gun-blade or something. Silly Europe!)

With much stock footage, the demons were defeated. The world was at peace!

Yay for the defeat of the demons of intolerance and ignorance! Yay for the power of TEAMWORK!

Author's Note: This comes from a conversation in which I noted that Africa (unlike Africans) couldn't be dehumanized - it wasn't human! David begged to disagree, and sparked a notion.

Reference Illustrations: Here and... I was going to link you to the other one, but it was bawdier than I remembered. It's okay. I'm sure you can think of reference illustrations for giant-robot assembly sequences! Especially ones made out of continents.