Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Nikoolas and his cat

In the Nikolsause House there was a cat, and yea, it was goude, and gouda, and such things that make the world spin on the axis, and the axes, and lances. And yea, the cat was a black shade, and white in places, in the style of a man who wears a rather gaudy formal dress, and who does not match properly his suit-coat with his coat-tails, and speckled in powder that was white, in the manner of snow which has fallen on a felled pine, in the great forest.

And yea, I had encountered this man several times inside the dwelling of the Nikolas, and it did make many hissing and steaming sounds, as a kettle-pot, and it drank of the water in many glasses which were stacked upon the table, yea, it also drank from many dished laid out in its shadows, whereupon the poor children did lick of it, to bring good luck.

And yea, though it hissed, it was not a vicious spider-wolf, nor a jaguar-hawk, for it had been worn in battles against many a foe, and against Daniel Defoe, whereupon the Nikolas-cat was stranded upon an island for many months, and whereupon the gods did train its grandiose musculature, and his skeleture, to withstand any crushing blow, or energy-beam, and yea, it gained sharp talons, of steel, and also hoops of steel, that could steal many souls, and yea, it did gain the ability to recognise evil spirits, from the way they taught that which doth vary form the doctrine of the apostles, and other doctors approved by the church's censure.

And yea, with this ability it did go and fight many beasts of the land, and the sea, and the air, and it did slay the Nosferatu, and the scullery-maids, and many other daemons, and yea, when full twenty years had passed of adventuring, he settled the land mass of South America, and took ten wives, and populated the landmasses, and the volcanoes, and the islands, and the seas, with his offspring, and yea, he did live in great conforture.

And yea, one day, a sniper did cometh, and did snipeth him, in the sensitive areas, that he die.

But as he lay dying, he still remained valiant, that he said many wise words to his children.

And he spake unto them: "Ye of the great masses, ye shall do good, as I have, and slay the foul beasts of the land, such that it be habitable and cultivatable, and clear the waters of toxins, such that they may be drunk and fished upon, and clear the air of the acids and the oils most foul and rotten, such that it may be breathed, and it shall be good."

And so he lay there, and the spirit left his body.

And yea, the masses did tell true to his good work, and they cleaned the Planet, and the great voids, and yea, in doing so, they det about their own demise, for they did not remember in time to reproduce themselves, yea, that they perished from the Earth.

And yea, full one million and twenty years later, the apes of the land stood erect, and made fires and tools, and yea, a civilization started upon the fertile fields of the Earth.

And so we shall always remember the Nikolas-cat, giver of life, for before the Earth was barren, but he did throughly fertilise it.


Cavalcadeofcats said...

That was surprisingly touching!

Excellent work. Any cat would be proud of such a memorial.

King Kessler said...

I was going to say pretty much exactly what Nick just said.

I pet him once. He was very bony. :')