The Chronicles of Desmond, Chapter 45: A Meeting at the Chop-Bar

It is indeede true that Nikoulasse and hisse Ratte-Empyre and King Kessler's majestick Isse-Lande Kingdomme dou have their troubeles, yea, Disputes beinge commone in the place, ande the tyme, and yette, one daye, it wausse desided to have a pease conference at the Chop-Bar, there hopefulley to disckuss the remedies and reparatyons of the paste suffereyinges inflickted upon bothe natyions. And it came to pass that The Ratte-Kinge, hee didde present himmeselfe, while Kinge Kessler didde dispatche Sir Matthias, and also a special Emmissarie whou wausse indeede familiar with the wayes and customes of the Ratte-Landes, and theire Kinge. Yea, 'twas myselffe thate wausse invyted to the evente, humbelle chronicklere of the annals of the Regioune, yea, the evente wausse of indeede greate inportance, and it wausse my sackred dutie to dickumente it, and yea, heresoforthe I hath done sou.

And it came to pass that Nikoulasse and the Emissaries fromme the Isse-Lande didde come and yea, they were approached by The Ratte-Kinge and yea, the wausse indeed in hisse grande and fyne Ratte-Chariout, and yea, it wasuee good, and smalle, and ornate in a bizzare fasshioun. Yea, The Three Men (Yea, verilie, this be not the sayme three men fromme the wonderfulle tayles wrytten by Sirre Nikoulasse) didde go and dryve unto the Grande Roade which doth leeadeth in tou the Mouste wounderfulle of Marcketplayses, yea, the Brother of the Ratte-Kinge, youngge Prynce of the Rattes was in the chariout, and yea, hee didde provyde manie mockeries of the Ratte-Kinge, and the aptitude of hisse Chariout-Dryvyng, yea, it didde upsette himme in a profounde mannere. So thus is came to pass that The Ratte-Prynvce didde furthere upsette the balancea and harmonie of the Universse, and he didde demandeth of The Ratte-Kinge if hee wausse indeed a charactere from a Magickal Faerie-Tayle, and Then proseeded to incurre a dilemma as to either mannere of choyce, both inviloyng the devouring of the fleshe in bissare wayes. And yea, hee didde ordere hisse immediate execution forthewithe.

So it came to pass that whence theye hadde aryvved at the Chop-Barre, the mouste Magickal of playses, and the greateste foodes known of Mankinde wausse indeed helde, it wausse so, that they should devoure it withe greate Gustoe.

PART II TO COME!