Sunday, December 02, 2007


Let me tell you about the Fnem.

What is a Fnem?

It's not very large. No, not very large at all! It's no taller than your little finger. Look at it! (I just did.) The very tallest Fnem are as tall as that finger.

Where do the Fnem live? Some say they live in your heart. That's silly! That would cause health complications. Also, it might be a bit messy. No, the Fnem live in a cooler place. They live in Norway! This is what their home looks like:

It's not very large, but neither are the Fnem. A lot of them live there! Eighty-nine, to be precise. That's how small the Fnem are!

What do the Fnem do, you ask? They do lots of things. But their main job is to adjust contrast levels. They fly all across the world, using hoops of steel, and find photos that are under- or overexposed. Then they correct them!

Every good photo editor has a Fnem on his shoulder.

It's a sign of skill!

So, why do the Fnem live in Norway? It's a simple story, really. One day, Godzilla and Mothra were having a big drag-out city-smashing battle, as they so often do. Then extraterrestrials came! They deployed an army of a hundred android Elvises to destroy everyone. Gandalf had to enlist Frodo, Aragorn and Picard to persuade Godzilla and Mothra that teaming up with Luke was the only way they could stop the aliens, their Elvises and their mind-controlled pop divas from toppling the Statue of Liberty! At the last moment, as Justin Timberlake was pushing the button to set off the explosives and Phoenix Wright reached out his long arm, the Fnem were born!

And that's why the Fnem live in Norway.

P. S.: In-joke message intended for Ethan. The Fnem aren't doing it right!


Maraj said...

I'll show you how the Fnem do it!

Desmond said...


King Kessler said...

I made a chuckly noise! That's pretty sweet! I never make chuckly noises.