Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Of the cartels

Yea, twas the evenning tydes, upon the fulle moune, at the bouroughes upon the Rivere which flow'd from the southern crown nestes of the Nikkoulouus trybes, to the Land to the Kelser, and the mysts, swirling, as they doe, and the cock crow'd and 't was the tyme of the marchants of the villege, to go unto the court of the King, yea, such that they may obtein the contractes and the writs of actions to sell their wares upon the towne square, and thusly, they set out unto the high way, on the horse-drawn carte, and sojourned offe.

And did they arrive upon the imperial citye, and yea, was it large, and crowdèd, and were there maney throughoufares, upon the main roades that lead to the cappitale, and did Nikoulous traverse upon these throughoufares, and did he encircle them several tymes, yea, for he was wont of a stable square upon which to dismount his carraiges, however, the towne, being fulle of commerse, was stacked 4 meteres high, and he could not fynd an adequate space, thusly, did he wonder unto the back-alleyes, such that he may dismount his carte in a more remote location.

And thusly was Nikoulouse forced to marche, upon the foote, yea, several myles to reach the centre of commerse, upon which he would obtein the royale charter, such that he may marchate his wares, and yea, he walked it, perserverentley, and he arrived upon the greate monolithe, and he stepped in side, and he waited upon the thronges of peoples, who were laying upon the streets, in an inebreaited state, yea, and there were littre upon the guttres, and Nikoulous stoobe behiend a most unusuale manne, who was wearing the suite of a bycycliste, and a helmette, and also a face maske, such as one who was wont unto the trades and craftes of the barbers and churgeons.

And he stood there, yea, for several lenghtes of tyme, and he recevied a nomber, and a forme, on parcement of the royale insignia of the Kinge, and he took it to the guttrual arrea, and he inscribed his name, and the seal of the marchante compagnie, thought he did not offre to sell his organes to the organ-grynder, for 2 shillings, for he was a gentle-man, and yea, a couard, and then, it came to pass, yea, that Nikoulous did sitte in a chare, and wait for several hourses, and he did become inebrated, in the mean time, for lack to a batter optioon, and it was goode.

And he reached the ende of the longue waite, and there were peasantes in charege of the proceedings, which affronted Nikoulous graveley, and it was goode. And it came to pass, that yea, having cumpleted the longue wait upon the gutteres, he was tolde to stand upon another queue, such as to have his statues as a marchate evaluated.

And yea, Nikoulous stood in the queue, and he was most vexed and affronted, and graveley insulted at the actiones of the commoners in the queue, who were nexte to himme, and there was an elderley womane, and she did stand extremeley close to the Nikoulous, and she did bumpe into himme several tymes, such that became quite offonded, and he was also touched in inappropriate placese several tymes. And he completed the queue, and thysly, he was sketched in a portraite, and also his insignia was marked upon the burning parchemente, and then he was foreced to sit the longue examinatione.

And yea, on the examination, were there many estrange quesitons that the Nikouous did not antisipate, and he was most confused, and baffeled, and vexed, upon the charter of the Kinge, and there were inquires as to the penaltie for the evasion of the royale guard, and yea, for the murder of civilians during the incident, and yea, Nikoulous, being a man of the Worlde, he guessed that they shall be hanged immediately, though that was notte corect.

And yea, it came to pass, that, the completion of the examination, and Nikoulous, being a scolarly man, did complete it satisfactory, and he was awarded the royal charter, however, the office had miscommunicated vitale imformation, and Nikoulous, being a cautions mann, did implore them to recherche it, and they did, and the corrupted information was erased, and yea, he was a newe manne.

1 comment:

Cavalcadeofcats said...

Most exciting account of a DMV-visit I have ever read! Well done, sir, good show.