Greedy Badgers, Greedy Men

A man went walking down the road. Along the road, a fricassee loped toward him.

"Why, hello there, little fricassee," the man greeted the meat. "Why are you here today, loping along the road, instead of being on a plate, being eaten?"

The fricassee looked down woefully. "A very bad thing has happened. I was on a plate, about to be eaten. Then a badger came into the village and farted everyone to death! He took everything there except me. I do not want to be eaten by a dirty farting badger!"

The man looked appropriately sympathetic. He suggested, "Why, little fricassee, why don't I eat you?" Then he did.

Then the man thought. If this badger had taken everything in the village, he must now have much treasure. If the man took this treasure, he could attract many pretty girls. He set out at once.

Soon, he got to the badger's cave. The badger was away, so the man crawled in. Inside, he found much treasure. There were finely crafted knives, piles of delicate beads, valuable spices (mint, pepper, and tarrgon), and many other good and useful things. The man grabbed them all up, putting them in a sack he carried over his shoulder.

Then he heard a noise: "You there! Why are you taking my treasure?" It was the badger! He had returned, and he was very angry at the man.

The man replied honestly: "I am taking your treasure because I want it, and because I think you are nasty and smelly." This made the badger upset! He turned and farted at the man. It nearly killed him! Luckily, he thought quickly enough to grab some pepper and crush it under his nose. Then he couldn't smell anything!

The badger was very surprised. "I have farted my smelliest fart at you. Why are you not dead?" he asked. He just stood there! So the man took his knives and killed and skinned the badger. Then he took him back to the man's village, through a magic way.

At the man's village, there were many pretty girls. They were impressed with the man's treasure, and they were pleased when he placed the badger on the campfire. But they would not let him kiss them. "You are stinky, and smell like badger fart!" they told him.

The man was very sad.