Another Proposed Script

I should note here that my notion is for a shorter, more compact project than the Chronicles movie was - I don't think I need another ordeal of that sort just now. I can write different scripts and/or modify this one on request.

The Youth of Kessler, Once and Future King

Scene One. Setting: A Grassy Field. (Wilson Park.) Characters: Baby Kessler. (A stuffed animal.)

Baby Kessler falls to earth atop a pile of (stuffed) animals.

NARRATOR: Yea, did KESSLER fall from the Heavens, born of the very Gods. And yea, was he cushioned by all the beasts and birds of the Earth; and thus was he wise, verily.

Scene Two. Setting: A Quiet Street. (?) Characters: Young Kessler. Extras: Three Townsfolk.

TOWNDENIZEN ONE: Why, we are doomed! We must flee!
TOWNDENIZEN TWO: No! You're an idiot! We have to fight it!
TOWNDENIZEN THREE: Bah! I'm hiding in my house and hoping it goes away!
YOUNG KESSLER enters, stage left.
YOUNG KESSLER: Yea, what threatens you, o fellow Isselundians?
TOWNDENIZEN THREE: Why, haven't you heard? We've been attacked by that worst of foes: the Bear-Weasel! And more, it's allied with a horrific Slime!
TOWNDENIZEN ONE: They've already killed two - no, ten - no, dozens of townspeople! All is lost!
YOUNG KESSLER: Why, such noble and brave townsfolk as you should surely be able to defeat any foe! Come, follow me! I will lead you to victory!
TOWNDENIZEN TWO: Yaaaaaaaa!
The townsfolk follow Kessler offstage, stage right.

Scene Three. Setting: A Darkened Wilderness. (Wilson Park: at night!) Characters: Young Kessler. Extras: Three townsfolk, a wood elf, and a dead bear-weasel and slime.

YOUNG KESSLER and three townsfolk enter, stage left. A roar is heard from the right. (Probably in editing.)

TOWNDENIZEN ONE: (trembling) Here is the dreaded beast: the terrible Bear-Weasel!
YOUNG KESSLER: Have no fear! We are Isselundians of stout hearts - yea, the very stoutest! Even a Magic Dragon King, were it to appear before us, would not daunt our steps! Timmaraque protects the righteous!
TOWNSFOLK (rallied): Yaa!
They charge off-screen, stage right. Whacking noises are heard, along with Kelsey's slime noises and more roaring.
TOWNDENIZEN THREE: (falling backwards, stage right) Aaargh! He lies still.
More whacking. A dead Bear-Weasel is tossed back into the scene.
TOWNDENIZEN ONE: (falling backwards, stage right, with a wet shirt) Eeurgh! He lies still.
More whacking and slime noises. A dead slime is tossed back into the scene.
YOUNG KESSLER and TOWNDENIZEN TWO re-enter the scene.
TOWNDENIZEN THREE: (rising) It bit me! Ow!
TOWNDENIZEN ONE: (rising) It... slimed me! Uck!
YOUNG KESSLER: Yea, surely that was a most glorious victory! All credit to you! Surely, were any wood-elves about, they should bestow their gifts upon you for your valour!
WOOD ELF: (entering stage left) Yea, verily, I would for I am so über smexy and hot right now! (frolicks stage right)
TOWNSFOLK: Yaaaay!
They exit, stage left.

Scene Four. Setting: The Throne Room. (same as before.) Characters: Young Kessler. Extras: Towndenizen Two.
TOWNDENIZEN TWO: By your actions this last day, you have proven yourself not just brave, but a leader among men. (Kneeling) Yea, for your virtuous qualities - surely a sign from Timmaraque himself - we have elected you our King!
KING KESSLER: (taking crown from towndenizen) Hooray!

NARRATOR: And thus did a long and glorious reign begin, interrupted only by occasional rat-kings and grendels, guaranteeing peace and prosperity for many generations.

Fin.

...for the life of me, I cannot write humor.