William Henry Blake

I will tell you a story.

This is the story of a man named William Henry Blake. He was born as a baby. This is detail that the history books wouldn't give you! It is valuable information - information from the source.

There was a man named William Henry Blake. He was born as a baby. Later, he became a toddler. Then he was a child. Actually, he was already a child when he was a toddler. But there was a point at which he was a child and not a toddler. There's a distinction, there.

William H. Blake was born in a small country. Today, we call that country India. But in his time, they called it Inndia. Remember that. It's important.

There was a man named William Henry Blake - or Willy B., or Woolly B, for short. We called him that because he wore many overcoats, in the summer. They were wool, you see. Also, he stung people to death, with his stinger.

Like a bee.

There was a man, called William Henry Blake. One day, James B. - or Jamie, or Jack, or Jacko, or Jack-be-nimble, as we called him - was stung by Woolly B.. It stung! It stung like crazy. He had to go to the hospital! Then he died! It sort of sucked.

Around this time, there were a lot of monsters. Some of them looked like men. But they weren't! Sometimes, they even called themselves men. But they weren't. They were monsters!

Woolly B. decided that we had to get rid of the monsters, because James B. had died. (This was after he died.) So he got the posse together. Once we were all gathered, he told us that we should deal with the monsters. This was generally agreed upon.

Then a man in a white robe and hood appeared! We thought he was a ghost, the ghost of James B.. (This was after he died.) Then he told us, the posse, that we should go kill some black people. Not monsters. Then it turned out he was a member of the KKK! Then it turned out he was a monster! A giant preying mantis! He lopped poor Annie's head off. Then Woolly B. stung him, and he died.

Then a dragon appeared. It was a monster, like the preying mantis, you see. It breathed fire! Most of the posse caught on fire. Then they died! Some of the posse didn't catch on fire, but they looked at the ones that were. Then they caught on fire! Then Woolly B. killed the dragon.

It was hard for me to see. I was hiding between a tree, which was on fire, which itself was on fire. The fire was on fire, because the dragon had breathed fire on it, so it began burning. It was hard to see through it.

So Woolly B. killed the dragon. He was alive, because he was made of asbestos (that's why Honey B. died - she breathed some of it in, then choked to death, of cancer), so he didn't die when the dragon set him on fire. And I survived, because I was hiding behind the tree, which was on fire, which was on fire. I went to greet him, and, feeling comradely (as we both had survived the battle), he gave me a hug. Unfortunately, he was still on fire. So now I was on fire. I ran around screaming, then, luckily, I was attacked by a swarm of bees. They caught on fire, and so I was no longer on fire. (They sucked it off. Like a towel.) So everything was okay.

Then Woolly B. went to me. "We killed the monsters," he told me, "And now everyone's dead. Perhaps we should go home, to Inndia." (Remember, that's what he called it.)

So we did.

That's... um. That's it.

Yeah.