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The Second Book Of Matthew

Chapter III

1 And it came to pass that there was a great carraige, that was ten-thousand cubits wide, and such deep, and along its breadth also.
2 And in the carraige there were twelve virgins, and twelve virgins more, and it was gilded with gold, that it shone in the light, and many linens were lain about the floor.
3 And Matthew embarked on the carraige, for it was to sojourn to the harbour, and because it would take several hours, so they smoked herbes and drank licquores.
4 And the men did know the virgins by laying with them, and when the carraige had arrived in its destination they were no longer virgins.
5 And Matthew did sit with the Three Wise Men, who were well-versed in the ways of the world, and one was a wissard, and the other a sword-man, and the other a corbie, and they did regale him with exotic adventures.
6 And the men who were behind Matthew were the nephew of Charlemange, and that of the Man who is Like a Fish, and they did come with fine and beautaceous womons.
7 And that did the carraige moveth, and it moveth to the harbour in a good time.
6 Thus did the men disembark unto the ground at the harbour.
8 Yea, behold, they did wait in the docks for many fortnights, and many moons.
9 And yea, they did halve their numbers of the plague, and of starvation.
10 And then did they embark on the vessel, which would take them to the land of milk and honey.

Chapter IV

1 And it came to pass that the vessel was grand, and it was twelve furlongs high, and such wide, and the same aspect along its breadth also.
2 And Matthew and his cohort did go unto the great hall.
3 And they did sit in the hall, amongst many womons, who were unclothed.
4 Thus the men did arise and go to fetch their meals.
5 And the men partook of the bread, and the milk, and the honey, and the sparrows, and the goats, and the rhinocerous, and the exotic animals, and it was good.
6 And then they did sojourn to the upper deck, whereupon there was much debauchery and violence.