Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts

Saturday, July 04, 2009

Fireworks: A Liveblogging

Hmm, fireworks are happening

*goes up to his roof*

Kelsey has signed off.

Kelsey_iPod has signed on.

Whoa

I can see three different fireworks shows from up here

And I can hear a fourth

And a loooot of echoes

Those fireworks sound like gunshots

And those ones sound like explosions

Those ones sound like thunder

And those ones sound like when you delete a stone block in Minecraft

It's so neat, I hear a firework from one direction and I hear its echoes from a bunch of directions all around me

Whoa

I think they used like twelve times as many fireworks in the finale as they did during the rest of the show

This whole time it was like "oh hmm fireworks"

And then at the end it was like "WHOA FIREWORKS"

Kelsey has signed on.

Kelsey_iPod has signed off.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Nikolas and the Octopoids

Nikolas was concerned.

He was being menaced!

Not by the octopoids, mind you. They were perfectly peaceful - friendly, even! They were currently helping Nikolas erect a barricade. With their many arms and queer, glowing tendrils, they were quite swift in their work - faster than Nikolas himself!

(What are the octopoids, you ask? Why, they're much like octopuses. They have eight arms, colour-changing skin, and eyes that are the right way around, unlike ours. The only difference is that they migrated to the Pripyat area shortly before 1986, and therefore stand eight feet tall (on average) and are covered in strange, glowing tendrils.)

(Lovely people, really.)

But Nikolas was still quite concerned, being a Nikolas. The main reason for this was the squid. It had been harassing him for some days, provoking his move to take shelter among the noble octopoids. Right now, it was breaking down the barricade in the entrance to the cave.

"All right," Nikolas said, steeling himself for battle. He picked up an aluminium spear in his hand, clumsy in the armoured diving suit with which he had equipped himself. "It'll break through in moments, so we'll all have to mob it at once, or we'll all be eaten. Giant squid do that, you know."

Crash!

The octopoids fanned out, forming a half-circle around the barricade. Glowing spores drifted from their tendrils. (This meant they were nervous.)

Crash!

"We attack on three."

"One."

Crash!

"Two."

Crash - and the squid was in, hideous face clear, tentacles and arms whipping wildly behind!

"Three!"

Nikolas and the octopoids charged, weapons upraised. Their courage was unmatched, even in the face of their abject terror at the sight of the Giant Squid - but then a cry - one single word - halted them in their tracks. (They skidded.)

"Love!" the Squid shouted joyously.

Why, it wasn't a squid at all!

It was a Kelsey!

Who could have guessed?

Nikolas was very embarrased afterwards.

Then they ate scones and hamentashen.

The End!

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Logic

Let us have some Kelsey k. This we know about Kelsey: he is love. Formally, this may be expressed as: kL, for L as love.

Let us also have some David d. David, of course, is the opposite of Kelsey; he is the anti-Kelsey. We may express this as d≡~k.

At this point, the power of logic already - with such a small number of propositions - allows us to reach conclusions! The transitive property allows us to equate d as d≡~L; David is the antithesis of love! A valid conclusion, well supported by everyday evidence. What power this has!

Let's try another simple exercise. Let there be some Nikolas n. Now, a Nikolas is of course the opposite of David: n≡~d. Again using the transitive property, we may quickly determine that n≡~~L; or, using the double-negative property, nL. Like the Kelsey, the Nikolas is love! What a wonderful thing to discover!

Now let's try something more complex. Assume there is one room being describe. The presence of David in that room may be described as d, to continue our previous convention; the presence of Nikolas in the room is n, and the presence of a Kelsey will be called k. Ryan T. will be described by r, and attractive persons of a female persuasion as w.

Now, a Ryan is followed everywhere he goes by females; therefore, we may say that rw, or that the presence of a Ryan in the room implies the presence of females also present. A David is terrified by females, and will go nowhere near them; we may thus continue by saying that d→~w, or the presence of a David in the room implies the absence of females. Using the transitive property, we may comment as an aside that r→~d, or d→~r; they cannot be in the same room, at least for long, a fact which (as a further aside) causes the illustrious d no end of jealousy.

Now, we may establish more facts. The Kelsey, as a Kelsey, follows the David wheresoever he may go; thus, dk. The Nikolas is friends with Kelsey and David, and will be present when- and wheresoever the both of them are; kdn. This last statement, the trained logician will note, is exactly equivalent to replacing the earlier dk with dkn.

We have learned many things from this! We have learned that wheresoever a David goes, so does a Kelsey and a Nikolas; we have learned that Davids cannot be found in the same room as Ryans. As we add more propositions, we may learn more; for instance, a simple addition of a Devin to the simulation (included in the appendix) immediately creates a sort of "Mormon Invasion" of any room; but even this simple model teaches us so much. Enjoy - the power of logic!

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Nicholas Photocollection, Pt. 1


Things that don't deserve their own stories, but are lovely enough to have a place on the blag all the same. (Some of the readers will remember seeing them in meatspace. Fear not - here they are immortalized!)




The Nikolas seems to engender these kinds of failures by his mere passage.

And now, a Kelsey moment.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

The Nikolas Agenda

The Nikolas Agenda is, by all reports, unspeakable.

So let's say no more of it!

Instead, we will discuss other agendas.

The Kelsey Agenda:

-Love

The Ethan Agenda:

-
See "Kelsey", above
- Sudden, unprovoked violence
- Physical
- Verbal
- See "Kelsey", above

The Mormon Agenda:

-
Joseph Smith
- Brigham Young
- Le-hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!

The Zhang Agenda:

-Pedophilia
-Incest
-Rage at accurate descriptions of self
-Stalking

We hope this has been an education! Also, we hope that David doesn't injure himself in his standard fit after seeing something like this.

We hope a lot of things.

It's all part of...

The Nikolas Agenda!