The Analects of Matthew: Second Digitalization: 14/4/08

The third of the Elder Matthew Skowbo's letters, digitized to the diginets in the hopes of the facilitation of distribution, dissemination, and delivery (of responses).

LETTER 3:

Dear David,

Deude, how's it going? How are womons? How is college hunting? How is slacker year of high school going?

So crazy stuff a mission is. I live in the middle of nowhere. Specifically, Warsaw Village (yes, village), in the township (not a city, a town) of Warsaw, in the County of Wyoming. There are more cows than people in the county. By, like, 6 to 1. Haven't baptised any one yet (Baptisms aren't too many [sic] in this area). But yah. Lots of pets around here. Everyone has at least a dog.

Anyhow, I finally know the procedure for getting someone baptised. Give or take, it's: Teach them four lessons (Joseph Smith & Book of Mormon lesson, what is the meaning of life & where do we go after we die lesson, The Gospel of Jesus Christ or how to get to heaven sort of, and the commandments). They have to go to church 3 times, and commit to read from and pray about the book of mormon. They also must commit to and begin following certain basic rules. Namely: No sex/pron/masturbating, no drinking alcohol/booze or smoking, pay tithing, and I think a couple of others. At least be trying to follow these & doing your best to fix 'em. I think then they can be baptised finally. Forgive me. I'm new to this and may have forgotten a step or two. This was probably a lot more than you wanted to know anyhow. [YES my fingers ow]

Anyhow, the new Mormon Prophet can wiggle his ears. Ask Lynn about that. It's kinda funny. In America.

Anyhow, missing computer access (like, real computer access. To like youtube & stuff.) But I guess they're worried we'll go look at porn.

But yah, hope school & womons & stuff is going well. Keep in touch. [Hah.]

Your hair,

-Elder Skowbo

P.S. in America