Thursday, May 21, 2009

The Wisdom of Vatysayana

(j). By the help of this woman I shall kill an enemy of the king,
who has taken shelter with her, and whom I am ordered by
the king to destroy.
Vatsyayana looked around.

The forces of the United Congress had long striven against the King, and in their treachery wreaked great harm upon the loyal persons of the country. Therefore the King had given forth a decree: that, in the interest of the destruction of the United Congress, that any man should, upon seeing a member of that organization, at once be permitted to kill him, and render him unto death, but by no means torture him, or cripple him, or otherwise inflict undue suffering, or inconvenience, for that should be a thing bestowing of ill karma. And upon this subject, Vatsyayana was in full agreement.

Therefore he considered the subject of the woman Hladini, who was known to be married to one of the chiefs of the United Congress. Vatsyayana was known to her, but not well; but if he came into congress with her, then she might betray her husband, and therefore forward the cause of the King. Vatsyayana considered this to be right and proper, and therefore proceeded to attempt to seduce her.

"Hladini," he suggested, "We ought to come into congress, that being of the type of the horse, and also that of the mare; in this way will we both find pleasure."

Hladini then made her response. "In this suggestion, there are three problems," she began. "This is the first: that you are of the type of the hare, and I of the elephant; therefore our congress could only be that of the lowest sort, which is proscribed by the wise; and even should you inflame your lingam with berries and thorns, there will be great difficulty and trouble."

"This is not insurmountable," Vatsyayana observed. "Shall we not then enter into union?"

"I have not finished," Hladini reprimanded. "This is the second problem: that I am a woman born between the Ganges and the Jumna, and therefore have no liking for disgraceful practices, such as you might suggest."

"But is Suvarnanabha not of the opinion that that which is agreeable to the nature of a particular person, is of more consequence than that which is agreeable to a whole nation; and that therefore the peculiarities of the country should not be observed in such cases? The various pleasures, the dress, and the sports of one country are in time borrowed by another, and in such a case these things must be considered as belonging originally to that country! Surely we ought to enter into union."

"I am not finished," Hladini reprimanded for the second time. "This is the third problem: that you attempt to enter into congress with me only that you might kill an enemy of the king,
who has taken shelter with me, and whom you are ordered by the king to destroy."

It is possible that Vatsyayana appeared somewhat sheepish. "This is the case," he conceded.

And their courtship proceeded no further; for such was the wisdom of Vatsyayana.

2 comments:

Kelsey Higham said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Cavalcadeofcats said...

All the wise, from nations great and small, well know this: that Vasyayana is the best.