Monday, May 04, 2009

Ode to a Tree.

The srquaroot is a rare tree, found only in northern Syria.
It is known for its bark, which is distilled by native tribesmen to form a potent liquor.
Its roots are also used as herbal remedies in native medicine.
The srquaroot has recently been threatened by imported species, notably the "copper rot", a form of fungus; but Syrian authorities have paid little attention to the srquaroot's plight.
Herschel looked at the tree; then he looked down, sighing.

"This is it for us," he told his friend. "We're at the end of our line."

"Pretty literally." his friend added. "As we're presently in the process of being hung."

"Yes," Herschel admitted.

"TO DEATH," the friend further clarified.

"Perhaps you're being a bit too negative," Herschel suggested; but before he could go on, a voice interrupted him.

"CRIMINALS!" the speaker cried. "For months, you terrorized our proud nation - the independent peoples of United Palestine. You sought to enforce your will upon a free people and crush our liberty - with terror!"

"A bit redundant, really," Herschel muttered. "Not to mention inaccurate. (Which it is.)"

"But the People's Freedom Forces found you," the speaker continued, "And now you are facing your sentence - a sentence ordained by the Just and Orderly courts of this nation, which know no appeal nor objection!"

"Is that really a good thing?" Herschel's friend pondered.

"Now - you will have five minutes in which you will be left alone to ponder your lowly fate, and the actions that have taken you to this point," the speaker pronounced. "After that - your sentence - will be enacted!"

"Eh, I don't think it'll come to that," Herschel decided.

"What?" his friend asked.

"Well, it's the tree, you see." Herschel explained. "I noticed earlier. It's a srquaroot tree."

"A what?" his friend asked. "Never heard of it."

"Well, it's not really important," Herschel said. "The really important thing is what comes along with it."

"What?" the friend asked.

"Copper rot," Herschel intoned. "Now, if we just jerk hard enough, we can break off the branch - and escape our hanging!"

"Let's do it!" the friend agreed.

They attempted it.

"This is harder than I expected," Herschel said. "But just one more minute..."

Then they were hung!

Living in the Free People's Democratic Republic of United Liberal Palestine kinda sucked.

EDIT: Just realized after re-reading this that it may look like some sort of political statement. It is not! It is a very peculiar fragment of alternate history. Treat it accordingly.

2 comments:

Calvacadeofcats said...

its the botom of topee

Chris R. said...

No political content? You have Herschel, ostensibly a Jew, being hung by a "United Palestine" that's implied to be Communist and/or evil!

You definitely should not pursue a career in diplomacy...