The Mormon Experience

There was a time when the Mormons ruled the land and their reign was great and terrible and it cast a shadow of darkness and despair over the great land, which was dark, and gloomy, and terrifying, and exhilirating, and intriguing, and whimsical. And on the great day of the celebration of the Labour, the Mormons did decide to hold a great congregation, and there was indeed much celebration, and excitement, in the manner of people who are great and remarkable, and proud of their unsavoury mormonic heritage in the backalleys and the canneries of Deseret, and who did decide to pursue many endeavours in one fine day, and it was good. And so it came to pass, that the Matthew, who had a motor-car, which was white, and fast, and glimmered with the lumiosity of a thousand suns, and that was tried and true, did take many paths and arrived to the mormon congregation. Thus, at the place where the Mormons did worship the most saintly and sanctified chruch of the Mormons, and Matthew did take us into the very bowels of the place, and showed us the baptismal font, and he did curse and profane, and fornicate in the chruch, and worship the devil, and it was good. And at the denoument, the good Matthew, and Carson, and the Glenn, and the us, we did throw many waters at the other Mormons such as the dudes. And it was good.