Thursday, March 19, 2009

Nikolas Smoke Marijuana And Has Promiscuous Sexual Intercourse

(By request from Mr. Zhang.)

Once upon a time, there was a great big train.
It was called Theodore.
Now, Theodore wanted to conquer Cuba.
But he knew he'd need a pretext.
Then it came out in the news: the Spanish were imprisoning Cuban rebels in concentration camps and abusing them terribly!

(David: no
tell about
your promiscus
nick: Patience!
All will come in due time.)

This was all the reason Theodore needed.
Now, Theodore was very excited.
He hooted and hissed and made all kinds of noises!
And attracted by the clamour, a bunch of men - mean men, rude men, men who really needed a shave and a shower - climbed right onto Theodore!
(He greeted them politely and called them the "Rough Riders". They didn't mind.)
Then, with one final blow of his steam-whistle, Theodore was off.
He travelled and travelled and finally got all the way to Cuba!
"Right over this hill," he told his passengers.
"We only need to get up this hill, and then we'll be in Havana!"
"Havana!" cried the Rough Riders. "All right! Then we'll be able to smoke Cuban cigars, and go to nightclubs!"
They were very excited by the news.
But the hill was very steep!
It was very tall and not very long - its slope was tremendous!
Theodore was concerned.
Still, he pressed on - for how could he conquer Cuba if he never even got to Havana?
He steamed and tooted and whistled until his boilers glowed red-hot - but he still couldn't get up the hill!
It was too steep!
"Help!" he cried, and with a merry will, the Rough Riders swung right off Theodore - and pushed!
They grunted and sweated, and Theodore pushed and steamed, and - bit by bit - he made it over that darn hill!
(This was the "Charge of the Rough Riders".)

(David: ugh
i knew it
nick: As well you should have.)

Now, Theodore had made it into Havana. All the Rough Riders got off, and Theodore made his big announcement. "Hello!" he said. "I am conquering Cuba! Please give me your respect and fealty."
But hardly anyone paid attention to poor Theodore!
He felt very sad.
One man came up to Theodore, and patted him reassuringly.
"It's all right," he said. "Hey - I was thinking of conquering Cuba, too. Why don't we team up?"
"All right!" Theodore said, his spirits uplifted once more. "What's your name?"
"They call me Fidel Castro," said Fidel Castro, tipping his hat at a rakish angle.
And then they conquered Cuba!
Later, I smoked marijuana and had promiscuous sexual intercourse.
The End!

(David: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaghj)

(nick: success)