Sunday, June 08, 2008

De Nikolas Affaire, I

Één day there was drie mann, en een of them was de Nikolaus, en een of them was de Matthew, en een of them was de Martijn van Gloucester, van Dublin, van Cork, van Glasgow, van Belfast. En 't came te pass dat there was a vrouw, en her name was [], en she was fair, en she was beauteous, en she was goed, en nice, en she was pleasant. En because of dit, de mann were determined te hit on her met great vigour, and te doen right by her, en accomplish great things te woo her. 


En dit is wat gehappened.

One day in the class of the chymistries, and thus the ceremonies thereafter, one of the men, who was the Nikolaus, he did go to the ceremony, and also did the womon, and they did sit in the seats that were adjacent, yet separated by a column that was one cubit lengthwise, and one by the side, and they did converse through the channel, and this is what they said. Said the man, "If thou wishest to communicate with mine self in near future or of the eternal void, that thus is certain to pass, and thus shalt render the bonds that tie the comrades of the brigade asunder, and thus to preserve the peace, and to insure the integrity of the race, and of man kind, then to such a means, and to such a proposition shalt thou render unto mine self the geodesic co-ordinates of thine locations, now and unto the future." And said the womon, "If thou hast speaketh lies, and in the paste, and thusly, hereuntofore, nay, be they voided anon, and to insure the propagation of our kind, thus shall I render them unto thee, nay in th' eve, but in the morrow next, insofar as they shalt be done unto the will of the Lord." And it was good.

And did the ceremony progress, and did the man and the womon go unto the floor, and did they copulate, and did they discuss worldly matters, and did they find much pleasure in unexpected events. And thus the ceremony ended, and they parted ways, and the sun set, and it rose, and the cock crowed.

And thus in the next day did the lectorium of the chymistry begin, and after, did the Nikolaus and the Matthew re-unite, for they had served together in the campaign of Judiaca, and they did embrace, and drink spirits of wine together, and smoke herbes, and it was good.

And thus did the Martijn sojourn into the lectorium, and did he enter the rectory, and did he take his customary place at the side of the womon, and did he speak to her in tongues, such that she was enthralled, and was she partooken of the divel, and his divers tricks upon the soul, and wicked ways, and it was good. 

And in the conclusion of the lectorium, did the womon and the Nikolaus re-unite, and did they exchange the vital statistics, and the Matthew sees this, and was he outraged, for he wished to engage in the ceremony him self, and he was filled with the rage of an envious man, and he was tempted from righteousness, and it was good.

1 comment:

Cavalcadeofcats said...

Hm. Brilliant! Though straying from fact in a few, minor aspects. I loved it! As I would love a kindly, though ill-guided, son.