Saturday, March 08, 2008

Of Yester-Day

Lo, a Nikolas, being possessed of a sudden fever, yea, a thorough knowledge of his future course, did arise at four and thirty past the mid-night arise from his slumbers. In the dark of night, the Nikolas did venture onto the tar-mac, that he might be given wings, and soar unto the heavens, to arrive in the land of the Saint Jacob, or "Diego", as he is known in the South. And in the air, his thoughts turned to Isselande, and he devised many plans and mechanisms by which it might be improved; and itte wasse goode.

And the Nikolas did arrive in the Jacobtown, and ventured north, into a great Ball-Room. There was a Performance there, of Rigour, but Scant Technical Aptitude, so that the Nikolaus was distracted, and also by the Mechanism with which he was provided, which did both Extend and Retract, so as to drive him to Distraction. But the News was Delivered, that He, and All Other Present, might attend the Halls of Learning, with Honour and Dignity, as befits a Gentleman; and the Nikolas was much pleased. But being an evil gremlin, the Nikolaus's thoughts at once turned to his good friend, who was Elsewhere, and yet invited; so the Nikolaus knew that he was admitted, and plotted and schemed to use that knowledge against him. Such is the way of a Nikolas.

And the Nikolas did Travel, yea, unto the lands of the Engine-Seers, that he might learn of their Dark Arts. And they did show him, yea, of the Intern-Ships (which sail the seas of Marmelade and Puddle (with their Rocket-Steam-Engines (powered by Fusion Coils (coiling around the spleen of the serpent (of Eden) whose scales are as hearts) which do not explode) capable of exerting one jigajoule per picosecond) not unlike Sofya and Sonia and so forth - actually wait, that's nasty, never mind), which are Teamed, and also there was the Four-K, which was the Future; and the Nikolas devised more mechanisms of Isselande, and took Notes, with that Pen which doth Retract and Extend; and itte wasse goode.

And there were Computerized Lips, which were Unfinished for Want of Time; and it was sad.

Then was the Nikolas lost, in the wilderness, and the forest, and the woods, and the wastes; but lo, he did find his way, though at every turn he was both deceived and deluded and diluted. So was he taken unto the College, of the Justice-Avatar Warren, who pervades all that land. There he was Fed, and did feel Guilt, and acquired a Banana, for his luck was strong, and the food was free. There also at the table at which the Nikolas did sit was a Girl, who had a Quest, for though she was interested in the Tennis, the game of Raquet and Sphere, none others knew of it, or its state at the College of Mr. Warren; and she was dismayed.

Then did the Persons of the College Tour the Lands, and the Residences, and the Apart-Ments. And there was confusion, for the Guides were Much Bemused, first at the sight of (in the early days of March) a Student Suntanning in a Bathing Suit on a Public Lawn, which did Divert, and Attract the Eye. Then did they go unto the Residences; but they were Perplexed, and Misled, and did venture unto the Wrong Residence. Upon complaint, they informed the occupants of the Authority they Carried, that of Matt, who had granted them Permission; and lo, twelve Persons (the Nikolas among them) did Enter; and there was much confusion. All was Revealed, and a Swift Departure Ensued; but the Damage was Done.

The other residence had a dude playing Guitar Hero. I'd never actually seen it played! Just seen videos. The "fret bar" is pretty loud.

Also there was an Apartment, with a Game-Cube, and a Door behind a Couch, which did Heat Water; and there was a Roommate, and a Girlfriend, the First (being male) noting that he was not the Second. All were Jolly and did Chuckle Greatly.

Then came a time of Questions, and Answers, and Prizes; and the Girl of the Tennis Quest did Find the Answers she Sought, and win a Prize, which was a Sticker of Bumps; and for this she was praised, and congratulated, and saluted, by the Nikolas.

And then came the Time, and the Nikolas did turn into a Gas, and a Vapour, and a Mist, and he did Transubstantiate, and Return, unto the lands of the North; and he did Decieve his Friend, for he was Evil, and possibly a Vampire; and so the tale ends, of a Nikolas's Journey to the Universal-Collegium of Saint "Diego".


Oldboy said...

it's like i was actually there

King Kessler said...

it's like i was actually th' heir