Friday, April 11, 2008

st, nikolas, womon, stor

Yea, behold, there was a manne, of goode proportiounes, and good attyre, and manneres, of a gentel-mann, of the cities, and a jollyfulle dyspositione, and a good hearte, who did bless manie small schildren in the blessinge-fountaine, for he wase a prieste, and a mann of Gode, and he did do many good thinges for small schildren around the worlde, and it was goode. And the nayme of this mann was indeed Mr. Nikolousse, Jackobus, Carolus, Augustus, the blood kinge, born of hisse motheres wombe, of noubel bloode, and skillfulle at dansing. One day, when the Nikolause was on his grande toure, after the lyceeum, and the gymnasiulm, and the oratoricum, he did go and mingel with the common-folke, and one of them was, to him, though it might be contested by the Sages of Arthour, who lived in the caves at the Mountain, that she was hotte. And this yonge womane, to the Nokolous, was indeed nubile, and marriageable, and he did seek to know her, by laying with herre, and he did to take herre as hise wyfe, and to bear schildrens with her, and it was goode. And it came to pass, that one daye, when the whethere was hotte, and the cloudes sckattered frome the skye, and the Nikolus was clean, for he had not baythed in several mounthes, at Bath, and he did go uppe to her, and he did aproportion her, and she did lascerate him several tymes about the wriste, such as in the manner of emotionale gentel-men, and he did bleed, seven dry quartes of bloode, and he stormed out the cathedrale in a huff, and it was goode.

And when he retired he did weep, O, weep, he did, and his teaers formed a river that was ten miles wide, and it flowed throughe the liveing roome, and they did drown themselves in it, and it was goode.

1 comment:

Cavalcadeofcats said...

Quite accurate, except for all the text, but extremely boring, except for all the sentences.

And I maintain that dry ounces are a reasonable measurement for ice-cream.