Our Anonymous Correspondent Plans a Date!

Advice is requested.

how do i get that womon

alone

in a dark

place

where there are no witnesses

We request clarification; our correspondent replies promptly.

look

it just has to be a place

where there is nobody

around

and relatively soundproof

We observe that these conditions seem somewhat peculiar.

also

it needs to be near like

a body of water

or maybe

somewhere

with soft earth

Why?

for

relaxation

Being somewhat unsure of his intentions, we ask our correspondent to re-iterate his requirements.

i just want to like

hang out

with her

in a place

you know

that is

tightly sealed

and that like

she wont fall out

by accident

and people cant go inside

to look around

...she won't fall out by accident?

you know

escape

i mean

We observe that this clarification in no wise improves our perception of the situation.

look

ok look

i just want to chill with that womon

at the lake

you know

alone

isnt that nice

also

i need some bags

and like

some heavy rocks

you know

for a tarp

in case it rains

and also

some

chloroform

you know

in case i have to dissolve

some organic

compounds

It is good that we have explanations, or these items would appear suspicious.

i mean

you know

i need to get

a lock pick

to get into her room

i mean

no

i mean

my bike

the locks busted

you knwo

thats totally legal

you know

im just stating

some plans

its like

just

you know

legal

and stuff

so ya

um

ya

thats what i mean

t

man

what were you thiniking

your sick

you know that

man

look

i already said too much

no

wait

no i didnt

i didnt say anything

illegal

man

your sick

im not crazy

man

Thanks to the vast amounts of advice we provided, our correspondent now appears ready for a perfectly splendid date.

Success!