Wednesday, October 07, 2009

Our Anonymous Correspondent Plans a Date!

Advice is requested.

how do i get that womon
alone
in a dark
place
where there are no witnesses

We request clarification; our correspondent replies promptly.

look
it just has to be a place
where there is nobody
around
and relatively soundproof

We observe that these conditions seem somewhat peculiar.

also
it needs to be near like
a body of water
or maybe
somewhere
with soft earth

Why?

for
relaxation

Being somewhat unsure of his intentions, we ask our correspondent to re-iterate his requirements.

i just want to like
hang out
with her
in a place
you know
that is
tightly sealed
and that like
she wont fall out
by accident
and people cant go inside
to look around

...she won't fall out by accident?

you know
escape
i mean

We observe that this clarification in no wise improves our perception of the situation.

look
ok look
i just want to chill with that womon
at the lake
you know
alone
isnt that nice
also
i need some bags
and like
some heavy rocks
you know
for a tarp
in case it rains
and also
some
chloroform
you know
in case i have to dissolve
some organic
compounds

It is good that we have explanations, or these items would appear suspicious.

i mean
you know
i need to get
a lock pick
to get into her room
i mean
no
i mean
my bike
the locks busted
you knwo
thats totally legal
you know

im just stating
some plans
its like
just
you know
legal
and stuff

so ya
um
ya
thats what i mean
t
man
what were you thiniking
your sick
you know that

man
look
i already said too much
no
wait
no i didnt
i didnt say anything
illegal
man
your sick




im not crazy


man

Thanks to the vast amounts of advice we provided, our correspondent now appears ready for a perfectly splendid date.

Success!

1 comment:

Calvacadeofcats said...

how exotic and esoteric