Of Travels Dark and Bleary

Two men set out, clothed in fine wool and brass, to the land of the north. They set out by carriage-caravan, and set out, accompanied by their trusty guide. The guide had long accompanied them, on many journeys; his knowledge of the land was excellent, and his directions peerless. But recently he had left the men, seeking new maps and techniques; with them he returned for this journey. The two men whom he guided expected great things.

Even in the first moments of the journey, their expectations were dashed. Their guide, seemingly drunken, directed them in strange directions, away from the high road they sought to take. Ignoring him, the two men continued on, and along the road all seemed well, for a time; the guide gave good, if obvious, directions, and kept them on the proper path.

Then they saw the gates of the city of the north; and all turned for the ill. For the guide's maps were ill-drawn; the lines too thick, one road difficult to tell from another. Reacting all-too-slowly, the guide was unable to steer them right, and diversion after diversion needed to be made. In his greatest betrayal - just before the end - the guide steered the intrepid pair onto another high road, filled with traffic, just to cover a third of a mile's distance before returning to the road from whence they came - forcing them to cover four lanes of dense-packed traffic to reach the only exit before the great Bridge over the Bay!

The pair were somewhat late to their engagement. The guide was nowhere to be seen; but afterwards, his belongings, left behind, were found to be reeking of opium. Vile scad - 'new techinques' indeed.