The oracle

"a nikolas-idea post"

Kelsey sat inside the high tower, peering out into the wilderness, with his telescope pressed against his eyes, surveying the land for signs of trouble. Then he saw in the midst of the forest clearing, that young girl that he had his eye on for so long. She must be lost, he thought. I should go and rescue her. Then she will have to stay the night with me. I can use that opportunity to have sex with her. He was preparing for his endeavour when just then, he saw a man come into the clearing. What is this, he wondered. Then the scoundrels took off their clothes and started to have sex. Kelsey was very distraught at this, for he wanted to have sex with her first. Then Kelsey became very excited because he realised that he got to watch her having sex. That is almost as good, he thought.

Just then the door opened and the summons from the royal palace were delivered, requesting his immediate arrival at the court of the King. Kelsey cursed foully and set down the telescope. When he arrived at the court there was much commotion. There is a terrible plague in the capital city, the King announced, and the researchers have not been able to concoct a cure, because we are missing the important aromatic compounds. Kelsey noted that he was very aromatic himself, and that perhaps he could soak himself in the elixir and spread it around the city. The court looked at him strangely. It could work, the King declared, and Kelsey was stripped of his clothes and soaked in the elixir. Then the King told him to go into town and rub himself up against all the citizens of the town. Kelsey became very excited at this because he knew that young girl lived in the city, and now he had royal orders to rub up against her naked. However, as soon as Kelsey entered the walled city, the elixir radiated out, and, combined with the power of the aromatic Kelsey, the disease immediately faded away. Kelsey was very disappointed, because now he would not have a chance to rub up against that young girl. Well, that is the end of that, he thought, and retuned home.