The Hon. Dr. Zhang's Hon. Physics Tale

here

i will tell you

a physics

story

Do, do!

one day

in the land

of nikolas land

nikolas went to class

and the teacher was like

that german guy

(This bit is based on real life! Look, he's got his own web-site!)

and he said

you need to know

about the static

(Here he means 'static equilbria'. This is correct.)

and

like

bridges

(This is not.)

suspension bridge is the best kind

that is all you need to know

class is dismised

(A very typical class period for me!)

but niokolals was not satisfied

with this

because

he was

engineer

and he need to know how

to build bridge

(I'm not quite sure that I'm that kind of engineer.)
(Obviously, I need to know how to drive trains.)

so he go to physic department

and he went into like

the office

and there were a hot young womon

(How startling! Everyone knows there are no women of any sort in Physics.)

and like

she was professeur

(Excellent spelling! Very Romantic.)

but like

she was only out of

graduate schoul

for like

1 yerar

and like

she was hot

but

nikolas did not notice this

because

he is

engineer

(Okay, this characterization of me is completely accurate. It is the curse of being engineer.)

then

he came up to her

and he said

professeur

i am engineer

i need to know hot to make breadge

so she said

well you can ceom into my office hours

and we can talk about it

(I mentally groaned when I read this. But in a good way. You know. Like how some movies are so bad they're good? It's like that.)
(Still in a good way.)

also

nikolas looked like this

http://members.tripod.com/gia_nikolas/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/nikolas.jpg

(There is a nikolas for every occasion, I suppose!)

so he went

into the office

of professeur

and like

she was nacked

wait

no

(Good call. That might have been coming on a bit too strong. I should have been frightened right away!)

she was wear

clothes

anyway

he said

look

if i am bridge

how is there forces on me

to behave

(I assume that I'm emulating my German professor's speech patterns here. It makes sense.)

and he went up on his back

and so he was sticking his steomock

up in the air

like

a bridge

to demonstrate

(This is how engineers demonstrate everything. Naturally, there's a strong cross-over between skilled engineers and skilled contortionists.)
(My father can tell you all about it - he's a veteran engineer, after all. A master of bridges and trains.)

and professeur

said

i will show you

and she sit on top

of him

but like

she acdeintaly touch

his peins

and he wa saroused

(Perfectly natural.)

and he said

no

he fell own

down

because he was shochek

(Also because he was not a suspension bridge, which is the strongest kind! See, it's a callback.)

and she land on top of him

and then like

they had sex

the end

(What a plausible and satisfying conclusion!)

Yet another masterpiece of modern literature, from our very own Prof. Zhang. Give him a hand of applause, ladies and gentlemen. It's not every day that you get something like this.

(Even if he only does write about sex.)